Guest Post from Sarah Gilbert: Why Hillary Supporters are Keeping it a Secret

I am delighted that Sarah Gilbert (my friend, former boss, and someone I miss seeing regularly since I don't live in Portland anymore) has agree to guest post on MOMocrats. Imagine this post is written in tiny font or perhaps wispy font or that she's just sidled up to you at a coffee shop and is saying these words quietly into your ear. —Stefania/CityMama

Cue the whisper.

I am voting for Hillary Clinton.

I'm pretty excited about it, actually. I live in Oregon, and grew up here; though most of my adult life I lived in other states, I always was excited to see the primary results from Oregon. Nobody else was. Who cared? By the time we got to Oregon, it was over, the Presidential primary balloting but a fun way to exercise our fingers.

I'm old enough to remember, though, when Geraldine Ferraro was a vice presidential candidate. I was thrilled with the possibility. A woman VP! One step away! By 1996, I'd given up hope. We'd never see a woman president. Our country was just too sexist.

I was working in investment banking at the time; there was one woman managing director on my floor, and the powers that be decided to have me work for her. Because I was a woman too! Surely we'd get along, right?

Funny. We barely spoke for months. She ended up liking me, but it wasn't because I was a woman, but in spite of it. I had a front row seat for the crazy politics of gender in our country: not only are men sexist, and women sexist, but powerful women are sexist. This alternatively made me mad and hopeless.

So when I realized that Hillary Clinton was not just running for President, but was highly electable and even favored by many to win the eventual nomination, I was sold. I already liked Hillary, have for a good decade now, I am a fan of her focus on health care, I think she's a brilliant woman, her record is solid, she even has my "food" vote (go local and sustainable! woohoo!). No man, no matter how charismatic or adorable or loved by my friends, could stand in my way.

And that's what I really want to write about today. Though I'm eagerly supporting Hillary, I'm a little afraid to say so. And many of my friends who are also supporting her are wholly in the closet. These aren't her "base," the working class, no, these are highly educated and generally middle-class urban women who (like me) always wanted a woman president and don't care much for Obama (none of us hate him with anything near the Clinton hate voiced by many of Obama supporters, I don't get that, but that's a topic for another day). We're voting for Hillary. And though we may be proud, we're very, very quiet about it.

Will you hate me now that I've declared? Perhaps. I like to be liked, so of course your anger makes me sad. But if I've given even one of you the courage to let your friends know that you, too, want to vote for a woman (This Woman) for President of the United States (as I type that I get tears in my eyes, really I do), well, cue the moderately loud voice.

:: :: ::

Sarah Gilbert grew up in Portland, Oregon, the eldest daughter of a rightwing conservative Christian family. She still loves them all very much, even though most of them are still (yikes!) Republicans. She remembers keenly being the only one in her 2nd grade class who wanted Reagan to win. She apologizes to you all for eight years of astrology and made-up economics. Oh dear.

By the time she was in high school, her unapologetically liberal teachers had convinced her. She became a Democrat and, if you ignore her strange habit of falling in love with Republicans, she never looked back.

After spending a decade living on the East Coast and being, variously, a student at the college where Robert E. Lee's horse was buried, an investment banker, and a vice president of a dotcom that burned a million dollars a month (she's done it all!), she moved back to the neighborhood where she grew up, married a high school (sorta) sweetheart, and had a bunch of little boys who will surely grow up to be all-state wrestlers. Sarah now manages financial blogs for AOL and can be found at urbanMamas and cafemama, or biking about the city going on and on about her chickens. Really, she won't shut up about them.

Comments

[PunditMom]

I feel your pain! Same here! Thanks for guest posting!

[Susie Sunshine]

I'd love Sarah Gilbert even if she was a Nader gal.
(I still have no idea who I'm for, which is so unlike me.)

[debbie]

Thanks for your post, Sarah. It's funny, because my background is similar to yours; Portland xtian family/arch Republican upbringing, and being really excited about Ferraro running (even tho I hearted Reagan and voted for him in our mock-ballot session, too - sigh). So I can dig your having come to support Clinton.

(I'm for Obama, but if Hillary were to win the nomination, I'd vote for her in a heartbeat.)

[Miguelina]

Hi Sarah. I'm a Hillary voter - and I'm educated, young (well, 32) and live in the Boston 'burbs. We're out there.

[Kathy S.]

I'm supporting Obama, but I would also vote for Hillary if she were the nominee. The one thing I have to disagree with is the "hatred" that you say some Obama supporters have voiced towards Hillary. I think there are supporters on BOTH sides who will be upset and angry if their candidate is not the nominee. I've had the opposite experience of you: I have friends who support Hillary who've told me they won't vote for Obama if he's the nominee.
I'm hoping we can all keep our eyes on the bigger picture -- electing a Democratic president. That's what's important to me. And if it's Hillary I would proudly vote for her.

[John J.]

Sarah, we Obama supporters don't hate Clinton supporters either (at least the majority of us, there are nutjobs on both sides). The problem though, is the vitriol I have seen (largely) the Clintons and Clinton supporters have thrown at us.

It was them that pushed to make Obama supporters look sexist for not voting for her. It was them that called Obama supporters "deluded" or idiots for voting for him. It was them that said the white people voting for Obama were only doing so because of "white guilt." It was (really largely the media, but also them) that said black people are only voting for him because he is black.

Personal attacks like this (not to mention all the completely pointless politicking so exemplified in the last ABC debate) are what have jaded so many Barack supporters against Hillary. Queen of Spain articulated this very well (albeit more violently than I feel) earlier today.

[Mom101]

Great post Sarah. I take for granted that in NY you can like any Democrat and it's generally A-Ok to say so. And I certainly don't hate her - in fact if she concedes, I'll be delighted that we get to keep her as a very effective Senator.

[Gunfighter]

Be out and proud about your politics.

[Karoli]

I'm an Obama supporter who really wanted to be a Hillary supporter, but she sealed the deal for Obama. Do I HATE her? No, and I certainly don't hate people who support her, either. I admit, however, that I am one who would abstain from a vote in the November general election if she were the nominee. It's not a personal thing. I just can't support her flavor of political discourse or philosophy, particularly the hawkish threat to obliterate Iran.

[Jozet]

Third party: Clinton/Edwards '08

That's my vote.

I'm bringing my permanent Sharpie to write it in, if need be.

And if anyone thinks that Obama wouldn't also "obliterate" Iran if it turned to nuclear war, they're kidding themselves. Obama, no matter what he has said - which has proven to be malleable according to what one needs to read out of it - has voted in line with Hillary on pretty much every Senate vote regarding the war. That's how he's proven himself to me. He himself has said that he has doubted and rethought his position on the war, and that if he had been in the Senate at the time, he might have voted differently. I suppose that it depends, again, upon what audience he is talking to.

[sarah gilbert]

thanks for your comments everyone, y'all are awesome. as to the "who are these Obama supporters who hate Clinton supporters?" question, maybe I'm just sensitive but I've read blog posts and twitters and such from people who I consider lovely, generous and dear (mostly women), that could be construed as a little hateful. I'm probably taking it too personally! my son's developmental pediatrician would tell me to filter. filter, sarah, filter.

I'm glad, though, that there are more hillary supporters out there who are educated young-ish middle-class-ish women wiling to go on the record! and I promise never to vote for nader.

[jeannie]

Ah Sarah, the race is OVER. Hillary has ZERO chance of leading in the delegate count, and Barack Obama now leads in the superdelegate count.

She CANNOT win even if Michigan & Florida delegates are counted.

Hillary is close to $30 million dollars in debt, and she's staying in the race so that her debt can be paid off.

She knows she cannot win, so why would any sucker still vote for Hillary especially since she's bankrupted her campaign and has vendors suing her for not paying her bills?

At least Barack Obama is less than $1 million in debt, and still has millions and pays his bills on time.

Besides, Hillary will soon be testifying under oath in November for the largest campaign finance fraud in U.S. history.

Many Hollywood celebrities will SOON be supeoned in the NEXT FEW WEEKS: Barbra Streisand, Cher, John Travolta, Dianna Ross and many others.

http://www.paulvclinton.com

THIS CASE IS WHY HILLARY HAS LOST THE NOMINATION!

[Monica in Cali]

I voted for Hillary in the CA primary. I had the sticker on my car and volunteered. After one headache, some shady politics and a stomach ache over the whole thing, I took the sticker off the car and put an "Obama 08" on.

I am a card carrying feminist and have come to tears many times in the past year telling my 4 yo daughter about Hillary Clinton and what it means that she is running for president. After watching every single debate, I have grown to greatly admire her. But, while they share similar views on most issues, Obama has engaged people in a way that channels something magical which in the past has turned into action, revolution... "change." There is an undeniable force of energy, charisma that he possesses. And, this president will need to be able to tap into and harness this energy to focus and create the change that our kids deserve. I think he has a better shot at this.

Lastly, to not vote because your candidate didn't get the nomination or worse to vote for McCain is totally insane. Really? People prefer McCain's continuation of the Bush doctrine to Obama (or Hillary)?? That doesn't make sense. It's interesting that at the beginning of this primary season, it was a love fest. We had two great candidates. Now people won't vote for the other. I think we need to look at the news media and question it's ability to manipulate public opinion... our opinion. Sure, there's been information uncovered, discoveries of sorts, but really... McCain would be WAYYYY worse than Obama and/or (please?) Hillary. WAAAYYYYYY.

[PunditMom]

It's never over 'til it's over. I'm channeling Yogi Berra!

[Tiffany Hamilton, in BC Canada, but an Oregon girl at heart...]

It's certainly an important part of the democratic process that each of us feels that we have the Right to express out support for our favourite candidate on the basis of whatever distinguishing characteristic is most important to us at the moment, be it race, gender, ethnicity, religion etc. Perhaps, however, it is more important that we each exercise the Courage to express this support, regardless of how popular or unpopular the position may be. Sarah, as always, good on you for having the courage to take your stand, especially since another important part of the democratic process is the art of persuasion. Our constitutional freedom to express our opinions (a la Sarah Gilbert) is what allows us to persuade others of the importance of our cause.

At this point, as Democrats, I feel that our most important cause is to ensure that we get our candidate to the White House, be it Obama or Clinton. I think the snide comments made by both candidates do neither candidate any good in their upcoming race against McCain. However, as a woman who would love to see another woman get the US' top job, it has been disheartening to see Hillary take verbal digs against Obama at every opportunity. When I see her interviewed, it seems she cannot pass up an opportunity to point out an Obama flaw and how she wouldn't have done it that way. When Hillary engages us in this manner, she ends up sounding petty and defensive rather than sounding strong and confident in her own policy positions.

Over the course of this campaign, which has been waged for a ridiculously long and expensive period of time, I have vacillated on whether I would I support Clinton or Obama. In the last few weeks, I have come to feel that I need to put my support behind Obama. Monica in Cali puts it very eloquently when she commented, "...Obama has engaged people in a way that channels something magical which in the past has turned into action, revolution... "change." There is an undeniable force of energy, charisma that he possesses. And, this president will need to be able to tap into and harness this energy to focus and create the change that our kids deserve. I think he has a better shot at this." I stronly agree with Monica's sentiment and have also felt his magic. It's very grassroots and may, hopefully, stimulate continued action among the US citizenry even after the polls have closed in November. Our nation, indeed our world, is in crisis on so many levels. We require some magic and someOne who can stimulate our desire to change ourselves from the ground up. It is my sincerest hope that, come November, non-Democrats will be able to recognize the force of his personality to effect change and to remember that the US can draw up her peoples' differences as valuable resources rather than as cause to stand divided.

[MOM FOR HILLARY]

I. came across a post this morning from a woman, who publicly supported Hillary following a rally in SD. I wish I could post the jpg here. She received AT HER HOME, Hate Mail - calling her a MORON and other swears for Hillary. It is so hard not to respond to this. AT HER HOME folks. I mean what the heck is that.
After several online comments (now I don't put my name) I received calls from Meeks' Church 5 in two days tell me it was the Great Church int he World yadayadayada...garbage. I am really outraged, God Help us! Hillary GO! GO THE END AND I hope she does not take the VP if offered. Soem of these people should really take a tour around Illinois. He has done NOTHING HERE. I am just so upset about this lady getting this mail AT HOME. Hs anyone else received this? Oh the letterhead was U of MN from what she said. If anyone has email me (dont otherwise) there is a reporter investigating the story from Chicago

[Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass)]

Oh, how I love this post. I am so happy to see Sarah Gilbert on this blog. You're a bad-ass mama, Sarah, and although we don't agree on the candidate, I hear you. Loud and oh[so clear.