Where's the Beef, Sweetie?

I went to school at the University of Michigan, a stone's throw from Detroit. My husband's family is from the Detroit area where the economy is really hurting. Many auto workers want to support a Democrat, but most people I know in that area are Republicans because that's who's been listening to them - or at least who comes across as such. Barack Obama had a real chance to throw some policy "beef" into the discussion when he toured auto plants, but he failed to address the issue, trying to put off those who asked.

To make matters worse, he called a reporter "sweetie," a novice move that could make him look not only condescending, but sexist. If he did that to me, I might consider a write-in vote in November, something I do not take lightly. This had better be the last time he makes a mistake like that. Take a look:

Comments

[Stefania/CityMama]

Yuck. I'm glad the reporter called him out on it. For the record, he did apologize for the comment:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/05/14/obama-apologizes-for-sweetie-comment/

It's a terrible habit, but in the grand scheme of things, I'll take "sweetie" over "white people like me better so let's knock back a shot" any day.

I can also see this kind of story for what it is: grasping at straws. It's Obama's "$400 haircut."

[Sarah Granger]

Yeah, but people latch onto these things and he needs to be careful.

As to doing shots, I saw that as a "thank goodness someone offered me the hard stuff - maybe I'll make it through the next day of this campaign" moment. I'd take a shot any day over chicken wings or some of the other artery-hardening stuff candidates have to choke down on the campaign trail. (I'm with Obama on turning down the coffee, BTW.)

[Jo MacD]

Ok, this might sound a bit weird, but the way he said the whole comment just sounds like something I've said to my kids a thousand times or more: "Just hold on a minute sweetie, I'm busy..."

Could Obama have slipped into a parenting moment (a bit like a senior moment, only more endearing)? It could be something he says to his girls, and it could have just popped out - not in a treating a women condescendingly way, just a catchphrase you've used so many times it becomes automatic kind of way. Don't you think?

[Chantelle]

I gotta say, I am Obama supporter, but I can't find an excuse for this one. Maybe if he were a little old Southern woman, sweetie would be an acceptable thing to call a grown woman, but, um, no, and uh oh.
Barack, honey, you have to watch what you say!
I think it is a little tacky that he never did answer her question, but in his defense, I don't think he could possibly offer a solution that is both honest and simple about what to do about the loss of jobs in places like Detroit.

[Jozet at Halushki]

Oh...ugh.

The only strangers allowed to call me "sweetie" are the waitresses at the Melrose Diner in South Philly.

"Sweetie"? C'mon, Obama supporters...c'mon...please. You gotta call him on this crap or it's going to make it onto another feminist power montage. Bill - I mean, Obama - needs to be going in the exact opposite direction here.

[Jozet at Halushki]

Oh...ugh.

The only strangers allowed to call me "sweetie" are the waitresses at the Melrose Diner in South Philly.

"Sweetie"? C'mon, Obama supporters...c'mon...please. You gotta call him on this crap or it's going to make it onto another feminist power montage. Bill - I mean, Obama - needs to be going in the exact opposite direction here.

[Jozet at Halushki]

Sorry...not sure why my posts keep double posting!

[PunditMom]

I think this could be a problem for Obama -- even if it was an inadvertent slip into a parenting moment, he needs to be more conscious of how he addresses people. One of the problems I see in him is an inability to be sensitive to what might offend other people, whether it's about gender or socio-economic status. I sometimes have the sense that he feels it's beneath him to think about those things. If he doesn't pay more attention, the GOP will have a field day with this stuff.

[Nan]

Using the word, "sweety" should give a clue to all women about how he views us and how he will include us if he is nominated. A "red flag" warning has just been flown for the second time. The first happened in April while visiting a textile factory. He called a female low-paid worker "sweety" but this did not appear in the news until the label again on the female reporter.

[Amy in Ohio]

As far as I'm concerned, he apologized and that should be that. I have co-workers that do it, the waitress at Cracker Barrel does it, etc. I don't like it, I think it's in bad form, but really, does that mean I suddenly don't agree with his vision for our country? Of course not.

He says sweetie, he mistakenly says 57 when he meant 47 - these are hardly dealbreakers.

[Sharon]

Good grief...McCain has adulterous affairs...somehow I think that's worse. Let's please focus on the issues. How is he going to deal with the loss of auto workers' jobs? Those are good questions. Why in the world is Barack put up to these unbelievable standards when only a few years ago we voted in an actor?????

[John J.]

Sharon, McCain not only has those affairs, he apparently calls his wife much harsher things than "sweetie". Of the two, I would prefer to be called sweetie.

[JayMonster]

And people wonder why the talking heads on the news networks never get to real issues... Here it is, right here. People can't discern issues and decisions from a hundred hours of debates, but they know all they need to know, or can "see" how he is going to treat women's issues, because he called someone "Sweetie"

As to the people in Detroit being Repub because they have the "plan" that works... Same sort of "huh?" Moment applies here. Those that are pro-business to the tune of breaking unions, making it easier to trade off the world "off-shore" to improve the EPS... These are the people with the logical "plan" for Detroit area voters? I am seriously confused I guess, because I just don't get it.

[Sarah Granger]

I didn't say Republicans have a plan or anything that works. I've just seen that they happen to give more attention and responses to the auto workers. That makes people feel as if they're being heard. That's important.

And I will never vote for McCain, so no worries about that. What frustrates me is that I see in Obama someone inexperienced, who should know better than to use these sweetie remarks. After I wrote this, I saw his apology (thanks to Stefania's link) and I'm OK with that. It sounds as if he's genuinely trying to rectify his remarks and hopefully learn from it. That's part of why I brought it up. I want him to be the strongest candidate possible assuming he wins the nomination.

As to "sweetie" callers and philanderers, I would much prefer neither. I would prefer a woman as president - a woman who knows what it feels like to have been hurt by her husband and to have been called all kinds of names, who can hit the ground running with solid policies.

Which brings me back to the main point of my post, shown in how I arranged it. First paragraph was about substance, as well as the title, organized to address the fact that Obama has not responded to the question, the issue, the concerns that effect these people every day. But because I mentioned the sweetie part, I get more comments here than I ever do on substantive policy posts.

Why? Because these things elicit emotional responses to us, whereas it's difficult to discern what the hundreds of homes for sale in the Detroit area are caused by, and the TV news is too busy showing destruction from the latest environmental disasters in Asia than to address these complex problems. It's difficult to fit real substance into 2 minutes in-between ads, and they've learned over the years that viewers tend to gloss over or channel surf to some lame reality show instead.

When Senator Obama comes up with a policy proposal about how to help the auto workers, I'd be happy to review that here. Even if he had just said to the media and the workers, "I'm working on a plan, my visit here was to learn more before taking my time and putting together something sensible," that would have been something.

I'm glad the sweetie thing came up, honestly, because it brings up the policy issue. His visit to Michigan would be old news by now and a missed opportunity, but with people talking about it, perhaps something positive will arise in terms of what can be done for these workers.

[Susan Ramey Cleveland]

I think we have to avoid the temptation to examine every word a candidates says when lots of people are screaming at him. I have a (bad?) habit of calling everyone sweetie. I do it to friends, strangers, babies, adults, men, women, dogs, cats. I can forgive Sen. Obama for calling the reporter sweetie. I wish he had answered the question, but in all the confusion who knows. We're hearing the question through a sound system that the senator might not have heard or heard mingled with lots of other talk. Let's cut him a break on this one.

[cynematic]

Sarah, I think you have a good point, which is something I've wondered about too. I know Obama had the nerve to tell Detroit automakers that they needed to get aboard the hybrid train to their faces in Detroit at a speech a while ago. I credit him for that. But now I want to know his followup to that--both the carrots to automakers to keep assembly line or other jobs in America (too late for that one? retool the factories to make something else?), and sticks like CAFE standards on fuel efficiency, emissions, and the like to keep the product in line with higher green standards.

The 'sweetie' thing does make me cringe, but I'm glad Obama apologized. And so far as I know, no one's received an apology for McCain calling his wife a 'cunt,' or agreeing with a questioner how he was going to "beat the bitch [Clinton]", or an apology from Cheney and Scalia telling reporters to "fuck off".

So as long as we're keeping track here, I'd like to see the "gotchas" be equal to the crime committed. I call felony assholism on McCain that he still needs to account for.

[Daisy]

I object to being called "sweetie" and I object even more to McCain's attitude toward women in general. I support Hillary, and I'll vote for Obama if he's the nominee. But please, Barack, dearheart, think before you speak.

[Gunfighter]

The odd thing is that I have gotten more flack from women in their 20's, 30's, and 40's because I usually refer to women as "ma'am". How is that for a kick in the ass? Try to be respectful (I'm a cop, we say sir and ma'am to people all day long) and what do you get?

I also call women sweetie or sweetheart from time to time... and no one has ever complained one single bit.

Odd.

I wont guess at the politics of this flap, but I truly don't think anything is going to come of it.

[Glennia]

Personally, I prefer "Sweetie Darling," so if you're reading this, Barack, please remember that when we meet. I really don't like being called food names, though. Things like "pumpkin," "honey", "dumpling," "cupcake," "fro yo," or "pork chop" I find totally offensive. Ok, babe?