Michelle Obama is just fine the way she is, thank you. And so am I.

I have a few thoughts on the whole "repackaging" of Michelle Obama that the mainstream media threatens is happening. I see her appearance on The View as just one of many, varied appearances people in her position need to make in order to reach out to the American people. Personally, I think she is way too good to sit at a table with the likes of Elisabitch Hasselback, but so be it. If it's a way for Michelle Obama to reach a wide range of, let's face it—female—viewers then fine.  But like Joanne, I think she's fine just the way she is.

When I see Michelle Obama, I finally see a First Lady I can relate to, more importantly, one my daughters can relate to as well because she seems like many moms they already know. Maybe it's because I am finally of a certain age, but Michelle Obama is as close to a First Lady I can relate to than any First Lady we've ever had.  She's five years older than I am, she built a successful career before having kids, she and Barack Obama have two girls not too distant in age from my own two girls. We are of the same generation and I feel we have a lot in common because of it.

I love to cook and I work from home, but I'm not the stay home and bake cookies type. I'm not a serial volunteer (being in my kids' classrooms is enough), not into joining the Junior League or any other service organization, I don't belong to a club. I went to school and then to grad school and then I went to work. I worked two jobs for a long time. Still do. But I don't miss the recitals and take the kids to swimming lessons and bring cookies to the class parties because that's part of my work-like balance. And I don't always get that balance right. I know many, many women who are just like me.

When I see women like Cindy McCain or Laura Bush who go from ladies luncheon to tea to building dedication, that seems like a world away from where I am. Standing at a podium in a pastel Dana Buchman suit or in front of a ribbon with a pair of scissors and note cards in hand is not my thing. I understand that First Ladies have a chance to do lots of good with the charities and causes they can push for four or eight years, but I kinda hope Michelle Obama just goes back to work.

When I see elegant and confident Michelle Obama in an electric purple dress "punching it in," like I do with my own husband, I get that.  The way Obama slapped her on the waist as she left the stage? I get that, too. (Though, with my husband, it would have probably been a pat on the bum. Hey, after 14 years of marriage, he's still likes a little grab-ass and I love that about him.)

I—like many women, I think—constantly struggle with my own personal tendencies to share my opinions freely and to tell it like it is without sugar coating it. I speak plainly. I think I'm fair but maybe I am too forward at times. Maybe I cross the line of what's "proper." Maybe I'm not polished. Maybe my style should be different. Maybe I'm not easy to get along with because of it. Maybe I put people off. Do I smile enough when talking to people? Should I not have said that? And on and on. I don't want to be a total asshole to people, but I also don't want my love of sharing my thoughts and having civil discourse tamped down by people who think women—or wives— should behave a certain way.

You know what? We're fine the way we are. She's fine the way she is. Other people's issues? Not our problem.

My husband likes to joke that "everyone knows what I don't like."  That gives me pause, and I do know have a sense of propriety, but most of the time I'm not afraid to say what I'm thinking. I was raised to have an opinion and to speak my mind. My mother is a strong woman and I surround myself with strong women friends. I like that about Michelle Obama. Does she need softening? Does she need to appeal to The View demographic? I sure as hell don't think so.

To those who think Michelle Obama needs to have a "softer," image, I'd just like to say: hands off. Please don't dumb down a smart lady. Put down the Dana Buchman and Judith Ripka and back away. I *like* the chunky fake pearls and the stilettos. I like that she went to Princeton and Harvard Law.  I like that she was an exective who's salary far surpassed her husband's. It doesn't make me admire her more to know she can hold her own with Whoopi or Barbara or that she shops at Target. (Okay, I do like her more for her Target love.) Please do not turn her into an automaton, Stepford wife. I admire her because of who she is: an articulate, confident, smart, strong woman. Maybe one who also struggles with the same issues that I do, but that's okay. Michelle Obama is a role model for women not just of my generation but for my own little girls as well.

I like her, I admire her, just the way she is, and I will be proud to call her my First Lady.

Please let Stefania Pomponi Butler know if you are a strong, smart, confident woman who likes Michelle Obama just the way she is.

Comments

[Donna Mills]

The way you describe Michelle Obama reminds me of the things I liked about the first First Lady of MY generation - Hillary Clinton. And we all know how well being herself worked for her during the first Clinton campaign and term.

Most people make electoral decisions emotionally rather than intellectually. I don't think Michelle needs to be "softened" but I'm all for not allowing her to be defined by Fox News. And if that means appearing on the View or trading tales with Kelly Ripa then I'm all for it.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Agree. I'm mostly okay with her making these appearances, I just don't want them to be packaged as appearance to help "soften her image." I mean, how has Whoopi's image been softened by hosting the View? I'd rather have the appearances be about reaching out to potential voters. She's definitely an asset to Barack Obama, so let's let people see her as she really is.

[Kristin]

I'm not a small personality, and would not take kindly to anyone trying to "soften" me -- it would probably result in a mama backlash. The fact that she's taking it so well speaks to her committment to get this thing won.

I too heart, heart, heart Michelle. I am so into the notion of having a first lady who still gets up with kids (I know I'm up with my six year old on a too-regular basis) and who struggles with what to do when a kiddo has a bad cold and there's something else one REALLY needs to do that day. Just think, we will have a first lady who will most likely sometimes have ground up cracker schmudge on her suits and will have some insipid kids song going in her motorcade car. Perfect.

[Glennia]

You'd make an awesome first lady. Or President.

[PunditMom]

What? You're not in the Junior League! ;O

[Cheryl]

Well said!

[Scheherazade Khan]

I'm flummoxed with how much I agree with what you just wrote. Coming from a "traditional" Asian-esque family that settled in Miami, it is (was) expected that one be part of the "ladies-who-lunch" crowd, even though one had several more degrees than the average "lady". Not that anything is wrong with living a completely vacuous tea-circuit life, I suppose...Anyway, what I'm circuitously trying to say is that strong, smart women should not be forced to cow tow to some socially reactionary vision in order to be supportive of their husbands. Like you my husband often claims that "everyone knows what I don't like", and surprisingly, for a nice mild-mannered lawyer, he doesn't seem to care. Michelle Obama is just dandy the way she is.

[Scheherazade Khan]

I'm flummoxed with how much I agree with what you just wrote. Coming from a "traditional" Asian-esque family that settled in Miami, it is (was) expected that one be part of the "ladies-who-lunch" crowd, even though one had several more degrees than the average "lady". Not that anything is wrong with living a completely vacuous tea-circuit life, I suppose...Anyway, what I'm circuitously trying to say is that strong, smart women should not be forced to cow tow to some socially reactionary vision in order to be supportive of their husbands. Like you my husband often claims that "everyone knows what I don't like", and surprisingly, for a nice mild-mannered lawyer, he doesn't seem to care. Michelle Obama is just dandy the way she is.

[Mom101]

Boy do I agree with you.

Unfortunately you're way smarter than a lot of the voting population. If what they need is a different necklace or an appearance on the View to help get over a hurdle that could elect Obama, then by all means, the end justifies the means.

[Mrs. Davis]

I think a smart, attractive, confident black woman scares the crap out a lot of people. And the idea of her as first lady must be kind of mind-blowing for them.

As for me? I think she's awesome. I would be thrilled to see her as our generation's FIRST first lady.

[cynematic]

I like Barack Obama, but I adore Michelle Obama. Any woman who can rock the sleeveless lilac dress, has biceps of steel, is clearly smart and wise, and knows how you have to sometimes "sell" the organic produce to your kids ("nobody wants to eat the pruney grape")--not necessarily in that order--is A-OK in my book.

And I'm fine with her not having to be my best friend and hold my hand in an Oprah-esque way. I'm looking forward to her finding whatever groove fits her best *when* (!) she becomes First Lady.

[debbie]

what Cyn said.

WHEN she becomes it.

oh, that thrills me, just saying it - she's gonna make a helluva First Lady (gives a whole new meaning to that title, huh).

and, CM, when you're president? please don't forget about all of us. :)

[Jo MacD]

It's almost too much to imagine, isn't it? A first lady who is all the things a woman can be - smart, well-educated, opinionated, caring, articulate, organized... all the things she's capable of being, and in public, not just what men say she can be.
That's such a big thought, I'm gonna have to sit here for a while and think about it. And maybe get a kleenex.

[Jo MacD]

It's almost too much to imagine, isn't it? A first lady who is all the things a woman can be - smart, well-educated, opinionated, caring, articulate, organized... all the things she's capable of being, and in public, not just what men say she can be.
That's such a big thought, I'm gonna have to sit here for a while and think about it. And maybe get a kleenex.

[Daisy]

Your first commenter noticed the same thing I did; Michelle in this campaign reminds me a lot of Hillary when Bill first ran for President. Hillary made more than Bill did as governor of Arkansas, too. Let's hear it for intelligent, articulate, thoughtful First Ladies! Fist bump,, anyone?

[Gunfighter]

Michele Obama=super smart. Super smart=Freakin' hot! (no disrespect, Barack)

Gunfighter loves the smart ladies (which is why I hang out here)

[Joan]

Michelle Obama is such a class act - smart, strong and beautiful, and I'm talking about inner beauty as well as outer beauty. What an asset to Barack, to the country. What a great first lady she will be!
I'm a white lady in her 70s, if it matters.