Don't Call Us Traitors

The war in Iraq is a touchy subject in my family these days.  I'm married to a Republican.  It's my shameful secret, but I love T nonetheless.  He's a social liberal, but a major reason for his support of Republicans over the years has been the traditional rhetoric that Republicans are strong on defense.  After the last seven years, however, even T understands that the perception of Republican strength in this area is a false one. 

T and I agree on one thing about Iraq, and that is that we've broken it.  In our discussions about foreign policy, my husband likes to quote the Law of Pottery Barn, "If you break it, you buy it."  He thinks that we'll be in Iraq for a long time, particularly if a Republican wins the next presidential election.   I think T is right.  If a Republican is elected, or even if one of many of the Democratic candidates wins, we'll be in Iraq for a long, long time.  Where do we disagree?  On whether Iraq can be compared to a green glazed knock-off Etruscan vase from Pottery Barn.

A little more than a year ago, I wrote a post on my personal blog, Lawyer Mama, about a friend of my brother's who died in Iraq.  In it, I talked about the guilt I experienced over the insane relief I felt because I thought that those I loved were safe.  My father is retired from the Air Force; my brother left the Army just before the stop loss orders began at the beginning of the Iraq fiasco; my husband is in the Navy Reserves.  All safe, I thought, although I mourned my brother's pain and his own survivor guilt.

Things have changed in the last year.  The situation in Iraq has worsened.  More friends of friends or relatives and loved ones of co-workers have died. Now, in a few months my husband will be leaving the reserves after twenty years of service.  It doesn't take a giant intellectual leap to figure out why.  T doesn't want to leave our boys, ages 1 and 3.  T is afraid, not for himself, but for our family.

Although I can't speak for T, I do know that T agrees that Iraq can't be easily fixed.  He sees the writing on the wall.  If he stays in the military, he'll be activated again.  And it will happen soon.  T has told me that he couldn't bear to have his children look at him as if he were a stranger after a six month or longer absence.  Worse yet, T and I both fear that if something happened to him and he never came home, the boys wouldn't remember him. Aside from losing a child, is there a scarier thought for a parent?

We can't fix Iraq.   

Yes, our current president got us into this mess.  Yes, the Iraqi people may be in far greater danger from our brand of "freedom" than they ever were under Saddam's regime.  Yes, we broke Iraq.  But we can't pay the price to fix it, now matter how much money and how many lives we throw at it.  No one can.  John Edwards understands that and is calling for an immediate withdrawal of 40,000 to 50,000 troops, with a complete withdrawal within nine to ten months. 

Many of the people making our foreign policy decisions over the last seven years have distanced themselves from the human face of war. Those who disagree with the administration's policies have been called traitors and supporters of terrorism.  But those who wrap themselves in the flag and stand on a pedestal and preach to us about the righteousness of military action have forgotten about the soldiers and their families.  Every soldier that dies, and every Iraqi hurt as "collateral damage," is someone's child.  They are our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, our wives and husbands.

We can't eliminate hatred of the United States and Americans overnight.  But we also can't build up a strong democracy in the powder keg of the Middle East in a few years either.  We can't even do it in a few decades.  The Iraqi people have to do it for themselves.

Now, like it or not, my family will be personally touched by the Iraq war.  My brother, currently a member of the Ohio National Guard, will be in Iraq early next year.  He reports to Ft. Hood for training next month.  I'm doing my part.  I'll be supporting my brother and his fellow soldiers in any way I can.  And I'm supporting John Edwards for president to get them out of there as soon as possible.

Comments

[Beth B.]

Here Here! Glennia and I heard John Edwards speak and he mentioned top priority was getting the troops out of Iraq.

[Devra Renner]

I'm involved with a program that supports families with young children who are experiencing grief, traum and loss in relationship to the deployments. There are already 600,000 kids who have active duty parents, so you can just imagine the amount of children if you combine that number with National Guard and Reserve. The number of families who will be effected(and affected) by Iraq and Afghanistan is staggering to comprehend.

[lildb]

Stephanie, I'm so gripped by this post. I can pray that we'll be out of Iraq before your brother is put in harm's way, but I can also thank your brother and his fellow soldiers for being willing to give themselves up for their country. And for his sister and all the other sisters and mothers and family members and friends for allowing them to do so.

[SabrinaT]

What a great post. My questions are what happenes when we leave? How does that change the lives of the Iraq people? Does that make us safer as a country? At what point do we stop playing politics, and devise a comprehensive plan to bring them home?

[CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela]

Steph, I wish I had something profound to say. I don't. I just wanted to let you know I'm reading...and as usual, think you nailed it. I agree wholeheartedly with you on this issue. This war, and the policies that this administration put into place proceeding this war, is why my own husband did not re-enlist. The danger was too real and too great.