You Can Call Me Glennia Hussein Campbell

Long-time readers of my personal blog (all three of them) know that the reason my blog is called "The Silent I" is that the "i" in my name is silent. Yes, my name is pronounced "Glenna", but I have gone through life being called, alternately, "Glen-nee-ya," "Glen-ya," and my favorite: "Glen-NIGH-ya" (think Shania, as in Shania Twain).

Telemarketers seem to have particular difficulties in pronouncing it, and it comes out, "Glenina," "Glenda," or "Glennis." This came in handy in my twenties, when I was avoiding those calling about my late student loan payments, and would say, "Nobody named 'Glenenis' here" with utter truth and sincerity.

I grew up in the '70's and at the time, there was a popular TV variety show hosted by country singer, Glen Campbell. He had the annoying habit of opening the show with "HOW-DEEEEE, I'm Gleeeeeyun Campbellll!" Needless to say, I heard that "Howdeee!" refrain on the playground a lot. A whole freaking lot.

Even as a young adult, people would often ask if I was either named after Glen Campbell or related to him. (No on both counts). Luckily, his star faded in the 1980's until a drunk driving arrest brought him back to the spotlight. Moms, before you name your kid Britney or Madonna or Clooney, think of this as a cautionary tale. Just look at that mug shot.

Having a last name that was also a popular brand name did not help matter much either. "Hey, Soup!" kids would shout, "Are you chicken noodle? Get it? Chicken? Noodle? Are you a chicken or a noodle?" har-de-har-har.

When you're eight, you know people will find a way to razz you about your name. When you're a 47 year old candidate for President, the first African-American President of the Harvard Law Review, and a member of the United States Senate, it's beyond juvenile and ridiculous to insinuate that you're somehow aligned with terrorists because your parents named you after your father. Last time I checked, most people outside of Hollywood don't have much say in what their names are.

You got that, Bill the Pill "Cunnilingus-ham"?

Cross-posted at The Silent I.