Reverend Wright Ate My Homework

I'm one of those Asian American Amish people who doesn't have cable tv. I mean, I know what a tv is, and own one. Sometimes I even turn it on, because the dvd player is connected to it. (Ti-Vo? What's that?)

But somehow a papyrus scroll landed on my porch with the news that a controversial former pastor of Senator Obama's hometown church in Chicago had some, well, controversial things to say before he went on his book tour. Which Obama quickly and decisively disowned--those were and are not his beliefs.

Last time I checked, Obama was running for president, and he pretty much categorically rejected Wright's comments and said his former pastor has no connection to Obama's campaign.

But you know how fast things move in the tv world. Maybe I missed the broadcast that said it was now actually Reverend Wright who was running for president, which is why everyone is so busy "vetting" him. (I personally think it's insulting and maybe even racist to use an animal doctor for a human, but that's the word they keep using.)

Then I got to thinking, what if tv's right? If everyone talking about it, and you can't escape it because it's all over the airwaves, and it's all a McCain supporter or even a Hillary supporter might want to remind you about...well. You know what they say about reality being a mass delusion. Maybe my lone self was the deluded one.

The more I mulled, the more it made sense. People on tv are way more important, get paid more, are skinnier, and have better hair, skin, and clothes than I do, so they must be right. And they are telling me Reverend Wright is a scary, nasty man who says and does bad things. It makes for exciting tv news, so there must be something to it!

So here are all the things wrong in my life that Reverend Wright has caused:

• Reverend Wright told my cats to poop outside the litter box. Then, he told Senator Obama's cats to do the same.
• Reverend Wright is why I'm paying almost $1200 to COBRA for stopgap health insurance.
• Reverend Wright caused my sewage line to back up. He also made a cast iron sewage pipe in the interior of my house split open, 54 years ago when it was first installed or maybe over time... I'm not sure about the chronology on this one. But there was flooding and his fingerprints are all over the job. Yeah, there are so too fingerprints on water.
• Reverend Wright is why we don't have universal single-payer health insurance. (I knew it!)
• Reverend Wright drank the last of the organic, $3.49 a half gallon milk meant for my son, and then put the empty carton back in my fridge.
• Reverend Wright chipped my toenail polish.
• Five years ago yesterday, Reverend Wright pulled on a jumpsuit and declared, "Mission Accomplished!" Or maybe that was the name of the battleship he was on, the U.S.S. Mission Accomplished? It was in big letters in the background of the picture. And honey? That jumpsuit was a little tight.
• Reverend Wright was found with yellow cake. Wait, Reverend Wright ate some yellow cake?
• Reverend Wright enjoys record billion dollar profits every summer when vacation-by-car season begins and coincidentally, gas gets more expensive.
• Reverend Wright said I'd be able to refinance my house into a lower rate and encouraged me to take the interest-only loan. That was before he got to my plumbing.
• Reverend Wright said my hair looked great and I should get it cut that way again that one time I got a bad haircut.
• Reverend Wright ate my kid's homework, and then he ate my homework too, even though I no longer go to school. But I still got in trouble.
• Reverend Wright is why the color green looks bad on Asians.

I mean, COME ON, PEOPLE! If I have to point out that this has been satirized for your protection, as Bill Maher likes to say, then...well, I don't know what'll help you.

Reverend Wright has suddenly become a cable-enabled bogeyman, conveniently flashed to scare away substantive issues. And sure enough, it's worked. Not a discussion of our economy, health insurance, subprime meltdown and housing mess, or high food costs in sight, unless you come to MOMocrats.

Folks, we can resist this. We're in the last stretches of the "silly season." We can dig deeper into the issues. We can find ways to fix what's broken. If we work side by side, we won't be afraid of each other. Or strangers to each other. We're what makes America great--the generous, big-hearted, friendly, helpful, fun-loving, sports-watching, hard-working people of America. We are better--and we deserve better--than what passes for the news we get from mainstream media.

Get outside and have a bbq. And turn off the silly season on the zillion channels inside. 

Cynematic is on the lo-fi analog tip at P i l l o w b o o k.

Comments

[debbie]

"And honey? That jumpsuit was a little tight."

You. Are. Teh. Rulez.

[debbie]

Also, I'm fairly certain that Reverend Wright is also responsible for my nose taking up a sizable portion of Portland proper.

[Glennia]

I've decided. I am totally not going to vote for Reverand Wright in November. Therefore, I'll have to vote for Barack Obama.

[PunditMom]

It's not Reverend Wright that's the issue. It's how Barack Obama has or has not embraced the radical notions of Wright in his 20 years as a member of that church. The question that is valid in all this is -- Obama's judgment. If Obama chose to surround himself with people who think that the government was behind the AIDS epidemic and the cause of 9/11, then what does that say about the type of people he will choose to surround himself with as President?

How he is going to decide who is going to help him lead if elected -- that's the question. We can't know what he will do in the future, but it is a fair question to ask what he has done in the past.

That's we question we should be asking about all the candidates -- because no one person does it alone. Will there be more Cheney's and Rumsfeld's? Let's hope not.

[jaelithe]

AMEN to this.

Pun intended.

And GOD DAMN the American media for killing innocent brain cells.

[jaelithe]

(Okay my comment above was for the post, not Joanne's comment. We were commenting at the same time. Because we are COSMIC TWINS.)

My response to Joanne's comment:

I agree that it's valid to ask Obama about his association with Wright. But Obama has been asked. And he has answered. Repeatedly. Thoroughly. And I don't see the purpose of flogging the same round of questions further.

Also, I wouldn't say that Obama has "surrounded himself with people," plural, who are obsessed with conspiracy theories. As a matter of fact, before the Wright controversy, many political commentators noted that Obama for the most part seems to surround himself with truly excellent advisors, and this is why his early campaign ran so smoothly.

(So, I disagree. But you're still my cosmic twin.)

[cynematic]

Well, I'm not a churchgoer or religious, so it's more generally a mystery to me that Catholics haven't renounced the faith after the sex abuse scandals, for example. (Every religion, including Buddhism, has its scandals and has unfortunate things committed in its name, it seems.)

But Joanne, I could see how a person develops a community with one's fellow congregants that is stronger than the bond you might have with your particular pastor. And I kinda like Rev. Otis Moss III, the new guy. He seems like he's hip, cool, and has fresh ideas. Not freighted with Wright's old school baggage.

Was Wright a formal part of Obama's campaign? I don't think so. And Obama's already rejected the whole AIDS conspiracy thing as nonsense.

We could play this same game with Hagee and any number of hate-spouting white preachers I guess. (Could someone just lean over and tell Pat Robertson I have it on good authority Tinky Winky IS gay? Jerry Falwell told me before he died.)

But I really think I've reached my limit on the Reverend Wright drama because 1) he's become demonized beyond the point of asking for clarification, and unfortunately it's all too easy to demonize black men in this country, 2) if he's not advising on policy or officially part of Obama's campaign, who cares what he has to say? It's not like all black men are interchangeable and only have one view, 3) did Wright ever give Obama advice on how to be a legislator when Obama was in the Illinois State Senate or US Senate, and if not, again who cares, and 4) I think the Reverend Wright bogeyman gives useful cover to racists who'd never vote for Obama anyway to now sound all self-righteous about their decision.

It's sorta like the racist/sexist relative problem...we all have one in the extended family somewhere. Or even a really good friend--someone who may be perfectly lovely otherwise, but occasionally these horrible toads just come falling out of the mouth.

In the end, what influence did Wright have on Obama's Blueprint for Change, his legislative record, or what we've seen of him throughout this campaign? I'm betting nil except for the fact that Obama tried to be respectful toward a man who was a leader and achieved much good in Chicago, but who turned out to burn Obama in spite of the respect he was showed.

[PunditMom]

Wright absolutely was a formal part of Obama's campaign. I think Obama is getting way too much of a pass on just about every issue, including this one.

http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0308/Wright_leaves_Obama_campaign.html

He was also involved as a fundraiser. Given all of this, I know this is going to be huge artillery for the GOP in the fall if Obama is the nominee.

[Donna]

OMG, you're funny! You had me at "yellow cake."

Yeah, I've been behind on the Reverend Wright non-issue, too. That's because years ago, I decided that getting my news from television -- unless it was an emergency of 9/11 proportion -- was a waste of time. Too bad the rest of the country hasn't caught on.

[cynematic]

Joanne, I looked into how deeply Wright was formally involved in Obama's campaign. It seems he was one of 49 notable African American religious leaders on Obama's National Religious Affairs Committee before that tie was severed in March, 2008. Although Wright was on the National steering committee, he did not chair the committee, Rev. Otis Moss II did. And Rev. Otis Moss III is listed as the actual formal representative of Obama's church, Trinity United. It looks as if Wright was the only one asterisked as endorsing Obama in a personal capacity, and not as a representative of Trinity United.

http://www.gwu.edu/~action/2008/obama/obama120407pr.html

The GOP will make of it what they will. Maybe they can get busy vetting all 49 religious leaders on the committee plus the 130 state leaders and 200 more local grassroots church leaders who are also affiliated with Obama's Religious Affairs Committee. If they start now, they might be done by January.

Seriously, if that's what the right-wing has planned, then they can Bring It because I'm more than happy to go through Billy Graham's anti-Semitism, the homphobia/sexism/racism of Hagee (http://www.democrats.org/a/2008/02/john_mccain_sho.php), and so on. I'm willing to go there even if the Obama campaign is not.

Because talk about GETTING A PASS, McCain's gotten a and received a huge pass on Hagee's support. That bothers me WAY MORE than any pass Obama may have gotten on the issue. Because Wright condemned American policies, but Hagee condemns *people* for who. they. are. For being different from him. You can change and should change a bad policy, but you can't and shouldn't change the gender or sexual orientation of a person.

My overall point though is that what does all this back and forth get us? It might make for good tv but it doesn't help anyone understand Obama's plan to address the housing crisis vs. McCain's plan to address the housing crisis any better.

And as long as there's no crackpot program proposed in Obama's Blueprint for Change to "extend funding for the spread of AIDS by the government" (what Wright has suggested, for example), AND THERE ISN'T, then I'm satisfied that there is separation of church and state in the way Obama governs.

[Gunfighter]

Pundit Mom,

Are you agreeing with the conspiracy crackpots that posit that Obama has some sort of hidden anti-American agenda? If so, come out and say so.

There is no evidence to back up the claim... other than the desire of Karl Rove and Hillary Clinton to try to smear Obama.

You spoke of judgment. Let's look at that. We already know that Hillary Clinton can't be trusted to make sound decisions. She makes even the hard decisions of war and peace on popularity and giving the impression of "doing something" about terrorism. That's the judgment we want? She can't be honest and say no to a war. So much for her sensibilities from the 60's... another boomer selling out.

If the Democratic nomination is about judgment, than Hillary Clinton, by her own actions isn't fit to lead a Troop of Girls Scouts.

[Amy@UWM]

My childhood rabbi refused to marry my husband and I because my husband-to-be wasn't Jewish. My grandmother was a racist and one of my best friends is a staunch libertarian. Does that make me an anti-Jewish, racist libertarian because these are the people I choose to surround myself with? Think not. The Reverend Wright is a convenient distraction that is pure heaven for the Clinton and McCain camps because it puts them right back in their element of negative politics as usual. I think we're all ready to move on.