John Edwards hops aboard the Bad Judgment Express

So John Edwards had an affair.

Another politician can't keep it in his pants. Quelle surprise.

What to say? I am disappointed. I wish it wasn't the candidate I supported for president. Can I get my money back? I mean, if your candidate turns out to be a total douche, you should be able to get your money back, right? Actually, more than that I want my time back. The time I took to carefully explain his position to friends, family, and strangers. The time--all that time--I put into writing about him and why I thought he was the best candidate for president.

Hello, have you seen this site? It's called MOMocrats and we started because we supported a guy for president...gee...what was his name again? Right now I am thanking the universe that we had the forethought from the moment we hit publish on our blog to also keep our eyes on the bigger prize.

I've written before how I feel about cheaters, so you can imagine what I think about John Edwards now. And how I feel for one my idols, his wife.

As I've said before about public figures who choose to make such stupid mistakes, where were his people? I mean, if Edwards doesn't have the self awareness to keep himself on the straight and narrow where, for god's sake, are his people?

Lean in close, John, because I'm about to school you.

The flow chart goes like this:

"I am a public figure. Would having an affair with Botox McFrost-n-Tips be a good idea?"

NO.

"...but the road is so lonely..."

NO.

"...but I'd really like to tap that."

NO.

Full stop.

End of story.

NO.

When you are a high-profile public servant, unless you are French or the mayor of San Francisco (pick one from the last 20 years), there is no YES. (And trust me, Rielle Hunter ain't no Carla Bruni.)

There is no:

"Let's see if I can dupe the National Enquirer."

There is no:

"But I didn't love her."

There is no:

"Let's see if I can sneak in and out of one of the most public hotels in all of Los Angeles."

There is only NO.

All I keep thinking, John, is you were supposed to be different. And the only thing I'm left wondering is not "Why did you do it?" or "How could you make such a bad error in judgment?", it's: Hey John, how does it feel to be such a fucking cliché?

Yes, emotions are still raw, but right now, John Edwards is dead to Stefania Pomponi Butler.

Comments

[To Think Is To Create]

So true. The cliche part is the worst. Ugh. Just think of all the crows singing right now...

[Marriage-101]

I think you summed it up perfectly. He wasn't my top choice as pres., but I still liked the guy. I feel like I've been duped. Like we all have, especially and unfortunately, his poor family. He doesn't deserve them. What a sad story.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

I just don't understand why they can't KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS.

I'm pissed, saddened, and hurt.

[Velma]

I knew your take would mirror mine. I mean, seriously - WTF?!? Where the hell are the people I can believe in, huh?

[Christine]

Wurd.

You know what else doesn't help, John? Having your official stance be that you didn't give her any money, but maybe some of your friends or followers did. Totally unbeknownst to you. Do you really think we're going to buy THAT?

[Karoli]

I really don't care who he banged or why. The message that it sends to me, though, is that his immediate need for gratification was far more powerful than the strength of his message. Of everything that I hate about this, that I hate the most. He had a powerful message that he threw away for hot sex.

[Cynthia Samuels]

Can't argue with you. I didn't support him but admired much about him and adored her --esp. after last year's BlogHer. It's just so sad. I know a million cliche reasons for it and there's even a history of distraught men having affairs as their wives battle cancer but he just didn't seem like the type. Maybe there is not type.

[Amanda]

Spitzer broke me. This? This just doesn't surprise me and that breaks my heart. Thank guys, you are't just f*cking up, you are killing hope.

[Binkytown]

How awful- to start a site like this to support a candidate at the grass roots level only to have him outed for this. You have to wonder without the National Enquirer-off all mags-would this have become public?
He didn't deserve you Stefania, not to mention his WIFE.

[cat/bad kitty]

Thank you and GOOD NIGHT. Botox McFrost-n-Tips indeed!

Is it awful that I wish he *did* love her? Or at least had the class to keep his trap shut about that part? Loving her wouldn't make it any better, but saying it was just a fling somehow makes it that much shittier.

And now we get to watch Elizabeth be more graceful than he deserves. Why can't SHE be president?

[Stefania/CityMama]

"And now we get to watch Elizabeth be more graceful than he deserves."

Bad Kitty, you have such a way with words. That is exactly, exactly right.

[Robyn]

"Botox McFrost-n-Tips" - leave it to you, Stefania, to come up with the best name for the mistress.

I didn't vote for Edwards in the primary, but I love love love Elizabeth. I hope she is changing all the locks on her palacial estate and kicking his ass to the curb. He clearly doesn't deserve a woman like Elizabeth.

We live in the world of the paparazzi and internet. You'd think these guys would catch a clue that if they fuck around, it's going to make front page news.

[PunditMom]

As I said in my earlier post, I don't understand why they think they can get away with this stuff. Bad judgment. I wonder if Elizabeth will really still speak at the convention.

[kady]

"Andrew Young, a former Edwards campaign aide who is married, has publicly said he fathered the child. The Washington Post reported Friday that Hunter acknowledged Young as the father. "

Ugh... the sordid, I cannot wash it off me.

I'm just bracing myself for the flood of schadenfreude glee this will unleash from the conservatives and the McCain campaign.

[Lisa E.]

I feel sorry for his wife! She was just in remission and he did this?! Oh well I'm not surprised unfortunately. what next? Obama's mistress will come out next? I don't think mccain would have a mistress because she's either (a) not alive anymore or (b) too old to remember.

[cynematic]

Geez, they need to invent chastity jocks for male politicians.

And someone else gets the key.

[Mom101]

I'm going to take the non-feminist, terrible pov and say that he could still have been a great president, just as I think Clinton was a great president. It breaks my heart in pieces of course, but I'd hate to think that had I had a misstep in my marriage, that I would be perceived as someone who could no longer do my job.

What I want to know is why NOW? Why does this come out NOW? It's not coincidence. And if we take the bait and turn the discussion away, we lose focus.

Fuck you Karl Rove. Not this time.

[kat]

i have to say, i thought of momocrats immediately when i thought of this, and what the reaction was going to be. it's such a bummer really. for the family, for spouse. sigh.

how can big politicos not know any better? seriously.

[Amelia Sprout]

You were just about the first thing I thought of after I heard it on the radio this afternoon. As always, you got it right.

[Devra Renner]

you know what really chaps my hide about this, is why he is:

A. Lying.

B. citing his lack of love for his paramour as justification for his decision to cheat on a person he supposedly loves.

Now I wonder why does Edwards have to be a chickenshit rat bastard, instead of a an honest rat bastard?

and

What's love got to do with it? Really.

I have a friend who's husband cheated on her and when he apologized and told her he loved her, she had the perfect response which was, "I don't want to be loved like that."

[lizriz]

Amen.

[Karen]

Okay, he's human. People have affairs all the time. No, that doesn't make it right, but is it right that we hold a higher standard to our public figures? I'd rather have a human president than a moral robot, personally. This is a personal thing that's between the people actually involved. Period. I'm in no way defending him, and I do think he made a major mistake in judgment that clearly has hurt people, but I wonder if the sense of betrayal people are feeling now is more a personal thing. He's handsome and charismatic and we can (briefly) fantasize about sleeping with him. And when someone actually does that isn't us and isn't his wife, we feel cheated on.

[Jessica (from It's my life...)]

OK. Maybe it's because I'm French. Maybe it's because I grew up in a country which doesn't actually care that their presidents can't keep it in their pants. (But lie about your health and watch out!)
But I just can't care about whether politicians are faithful or not. Does it really matter in the end? If they do a good job at, well, their jobs, does it matter what they do "after hours." Or does everyone get upset because it's a symbol of their overall honesty?
Elizabeth should be upset, he cheated on her, not on us. Right? Or am I completely wrong here?

[Stefania/CityMama]

Karen, I was with you until the last half of your comment. Fantasize about sleeping with John Edwards? His handsomeness was not what interested me, it was his anti-nuclear policy, his thoughts about how to restore America's standing with the world, his healthcare plan, and his commitment to ending poverty in this country. I fantasize about sleeping with Viggo Mortensen, Common, that guy who plays Don Draper on MadMen but only if he gets to stay in character and I get to be Joan...and, okay, Angelina Jolie (but who doesn't?). Not John Edwards. Please!

Jessica, it's a personal thing. I see your point, really I do, but for me, I feel differently.

[hopealso (hippie dippie bébé)]

Funny and well put! Elizabeth Edwards has also been one of my heroes since her interviews during the the 2004 run. Just read your post on her too; couldn't stop reading! Will definitely be interesting to see her reaction. Eerie how your comparison to Hillary is now playing itself out!

[Binkytown]

I'm with Mom101 that I don't think this is coincidence nor do I think it makes him unworthy to do the job, but the answer, unfortunately, to why this has to come out now is because HE DID IT. He bears the ultimate responsibility here. Which sucks.

[Leila]

I liked him, but he was not my first choice, so I don't feel betrayed.

My practical side is thanking god he didn't win the Democratic nomination and that this didn't come out now in his campaign. (Can you imagine? Automatic win for McCain.)

I kind of agree with Jessica that it's really between the individuals involved. Aside from the political repurcussions, I honestly don't care if my elected officials cheat, so long as it does not affect their job performance.

But I do kind of want to kick his a** for cheating on his wife, clearly someone who did not deserve this or the lame way he's handling this in the media.

[RookieMom Heather]

You had me at "...but I'd really like to tap that." NO.

[Bill]

Karen - I'm very disappointed in Edwards, but I can without a doubt guarantee I've never fantasized about sleeping with him (even briefly). And I don't think my wife has, either. *laugh*

I think I'm just about as disappointed that he lied about it. What he did was sleazy, but it is between him, his family, and the other woman (or, dare I assume, womEn). But for him to deny the story and then suddenly admit it once pictures come out, well, I guess shame on me for giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[akemi/svtwinmom]

Geez and we were all right there listening to the amazing EE tirelessly work the room on his behalf. What a terrible disappointment, to her, to us, to so many.

A sad, sad day.

[Kris]

Stefania, John did NOT deserve your or any of the Momocrats' time and energy. I was an avid Edwards supporter during the primaries (for so many of the reasons so learnedly argued at this site during that time) and I now am so disappointed by these revelations about Edwards.

I was so angry in fact when I started researching the allegations soon after hearing about the hotel incident that once I found "Mrs. Stranahan"'s (Lee's wife) Twitter regarding finding that archive of Rielle's site, beingisfree.org at the mirror site of archive.org, I decided to link to that info over at Deceiver.com (I'm the Kris he hat-tips over there). She seems like a very selfish person with serious psychological problems.

Anyways, since Edwards states that his affair began and ended in 2006 and says that Elizabeth knew about his affair by 2006 as well, maybe Elizabeth should have advised Edwards against trying to seek the Democratic nomination.

Even if what Edwards says is true and Rielle's baby is not his and that it was only a brief affair back in '06, both he AND Elizabeth had to have known that had information on the affair surfaced at a time during, say the general election, where, say, Edwards was the nominee that even that info could've handed the election to the Republicans. I have to say that Elizabeth should have been more responsible and I am deeply disturbed by her actions.

[Devra Renner]

I don't think he is any more worthy or unworthy of being president based on his ridiculous behavior in his private life. I have no idea what kind of president he would have been, nor do I know what kind of husband he is. Neither matters at this point. He's not president and I'm not married to him. I am merely frustrated with "deniability" as the new "accountablity" when people get caught lying. Lying raises a question in my mind of a person's integrity. I am disappointed as I did believe Edwards to be a person of integrity, and now I don't think that way anymore. But this is based upon my own admitted bias/tolerance when it comes to lying.

The affair may have been a mistake, but the lying appears to be on purpose. And this is what bothers me.

One of my mantras is, "Lie to me? Say goodbye to me." (applied to adults obvioulsly.)

[Linsey K / KrolikLegal / Me Too You]

How disappointing. The ego thing is what really gets me. So glad he's not still in the race.

[Natalie]

I can't help this will still be used against the democratic campaign. My gosh, men, KEEP IT IN YOUR fricken fracken PANTS.

Devra Renner did a good job summing up how I feel about infidelity and this little escapade.

[rebecca]

*sigh* Short answer: I echo Mom-101's sentiments.

Long answer: It scares me the way in which people are internalizing this. Our attention's being diverted in a time our attention needs to be at its greatest focus.

This news needs to be looked at through a broader scope. First, just why is this coming out NOW? It's suspicious. Second, we absolutely can feel empathy for Elizabeth, their private pain for the last two years, and the public scrutinity they're beginning to endure. . . but. . .

My main concern right now is not that he chose to cheat on his wife, but that shortly thereafter he chose to run for president. He had people donating their money, he had people giving of their time, he had people who sincerely had their hopes placed on him. And he purposefully put them all in a situation to be betrayed--- because, rest assured, if he had become the nominee, it would have come out. (Hell, it's come out when he's not even the nominee, and it's still beginning to affect the Democratic political discourse.) And it would have led to disastrous results for this election.

That says even more to me about his character than the actual affair.

So let's look at this critically, is all I'm saying. Of course, mainstream media is not looking at it in this manner. But I can hope that my MOMocrats will.

[Kristin]

I very deeply respect Elizabeth Edwards, and I hurt for her tonight. I very deeply respect an individual's privacy, and I hurt for John Edwards tonight.

BUT, where I'm really, really pissed is when I think about what he could have done to the Democratic Party.

He would have essentially handed the election to McScary. More war. More global warming. Less health insurance and GUESS WHAT, John? More poverty!! Major effing eff-up.

Considering what is at stake in this election, I can't imagine him being that profoundly stupid. I would donate my left arm to get a Democrat in the White House, and he can't keep it in his pants? Too big a sacrifice?

And, btw, CityMama -- Viggo Mortensen. Totally.

[Dana]

I couldn't believe what I saw when I was reading the news online. But after a few moments, I really wasn't that surprised. Every politician in the universe does something stupid. It's sickening. Soooooo damn sickening.

[VDog]

SNAP, gurl! You BROUGHT it!!

LOVED this piece. You go, girl.

[Myrna]

I agree with Rebecca. What shocked me most was a) he would cheat on his wife, who had serious health issues, even if in remission at the time.
b) he would choose to put himself in the public arena knowing this dirty bit of laundry. Like it or not, Americans are not like the French and they do not like bed-hopping politicians who cheat on their wives while parading their family on the campaign trail. He betrayed lots of his friends in the Democratic party when he ran for President knowing this.
Sneaking around in a hotel in LA?? What kind of behavior is that?? HE should be featured in an ad with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton!

[Beth B.]

I agree with Mom 101, FU Karl - this is not going to effect my support for the Democratic nominee... Not gonna.. I say we all keep focused on the end goal - Obama for Prez!

This site was not inspired by one person - it was inspired by moms supporting change to have their voices heard - and that goal was reached.. Now some of those Kick Arse moms are heading towards the DNC...

Elizabeth Edwards is and will always be an inspiration - so there!

Sorry, nothing to say to JE, not talking to him at the moment.

[ladybonbons]

I don't get the woman either (or any woman who knowingly goes and does an un-single man). Is this really how she wanted to become famous?

[The Aitch]

Agreed and well said. And to think just yesterday I said that wasn't they way he rolled. bwahahaha.

[Kat]

I've been waiting to hear what you would have to say about all of this, since the rumors started flying. Well said.

[Deborah Dowd]

I knew you would take a no prisoners approach to this disclosure. So glad to see you are not making excuses. There are none. Even though he was not my guy, it is still disappointing to see yet another "leader" get led around by the wrong head!

[Jo-Ann]

"Considering what is at stake in this election, I can't imagine him being that profoundly stupid. I would donate my left arm to get a Democrat in the White House, and he can't keep it in his pants? Too big a sacrifice?"

Perfectly said by Kristin. This is exactly how I feel.

Plus, he was supposed to be one of the good guys. WTF?

[Lisa V]

The fact that he did this now, not ten years ago, but now- in 2006 WHILE he was running for president, shows he really can't put his needs aside for the greater good. So while I agree it's ultimately his and his wife's business who he sleeps with, he doesn't give a shit if it matters to others.

Oh and this whole thing about the media protecting his privacy. The MSM has been ignoring this for weeks while Drudge and the Enquirer teetered about it. The MSM only covered the story when Edwards made the statement. And while I love Elizabeth Edwards, she's been a blogger about personal issues in her life for awhile, it shouldn't surprise her that people are interested in the less palatable ones as well.

[caitlin]

So he cheated . . and that sucks. And then he lied . . . which also sucks. And then he went on Nightline last night and told a bunch of half-truths, plus he threw in some "I have no knowledge of this or that or this" to cover up some of his other lies. I fear that this story isn't over because he hasn't come totally clean - which makes his public "apology" totally empty in my opinion. After watching last night, I thought, "Well, of course that is his baby and of course he has been having someone pay that women off." Jerk. Liar.

[leslie]

I'm not surprised. I'm just surprised that so many people bought into the fact that he was above all that. And am I wrong in hearing he succumbed to blackmail? Scary if true...he's even weaker than I thought.

[Cindy]

I think Joe Klein said it well:

"Just about anyone under the age of 60 who has lived in this permissive society during the past 40 years, has done something that might be unfit for a Hallmark Greeting Card. In fact, I have profound qualms about any would-be politician who hasn't allowed him- or herself a moment of untrammeled human or chemical exploration. I fear that the media have driven an awful lot of interesting people away from public service for reasons that would have seemed extreme to the second generation of New England Puritans."

Don't get your panties in a twist about Edwards!! It won't be the last time that people have sex outside of marriage - and life will go on just fine - just as it always has.

[Alice]

Ok; lying is the worst for me. And I was an Edwards supporter, too.
But, now we really have to put all this energy into electing Barack; I just can't begin to imagine another 4-8 years of Republican "leadership" in this world! And I think Democrats must be more aggressive in their PR, plans and details of how they REALLY differ from McScary (who lied & cheated on his wife and has mega houses, etc...)
Great blog with thoughtful energetic communication - most appealing!!!!! Keep it up!!!