Boots on the Ground

The MOMocrats welcome guest poster Mary, from the great state of Nebraska, who blogs at The Eleventh.

I'm trying to understand people.

I'm trying to understand everyone, and I'm asking questions that do not bely my politics, in order to hear unguarded responses from people around me.

An elderly real estate agent in my office, a woman, was standing by the reception desk when we struck up a conversation.  I casually asked her if she'd been watching the conventions and what she thought.  She shook her head.  "I don't know," she said.  "I just don't think that Alaska woman is ready.  I guess I'll just pray McCain stays healthy." 

"Why not vote for Obama, then?" I asked her. 

She widened her eyes.  "Oh," she said, "I like him a lot.  But I could never vote for a black.  I just couldn't."

"Seriously?"  I asked.

"Oh, yes." she said sadly.  "I just couldn't."

I asked why not??

"Oh, I just couldn't do it.  I couldn't."  And she turned and walked slowly back to her office.  I didn't know how to even respond.

I was at the coffee machine another day and I overheard two middle aged men talking in the computer room.  "That Palin, she's a babe," one of them said.

I leaned around the corner.  The guys, colleagues of mine, were men I'd joked with before.  "She's pretty inexperienced," I said, my grin telling them I was ready to debate.  One man smirked, but the other gave me a stony look, to my surprise.  "I'd vote for anybody over that goddamn ni**er," he said. 

I stepped into the room.  "What?"  I didn't even have the words to speak.

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I did.  And that makes me really sad for you.  You think Palin's better than Obama just because he's black?"

"It's good enough for me," he said, unfolding his newspaper. 

"Jeez, you guys, that's just sickening."

Our state, to nobody's surprise, is expected to go to the Republicans.  Many folks here think that campaigning is worthless if you are a Democrat, because the electoral votes won't go for Obama. But the Obama headquarters in nearby Omaha had a great grand opening last week, which was picketed by a virulent pro-life group waving placards and driving trucks plastered with the graphic images of aborted fetuses.

The former mayor of Omaha saw one of the protest trucks approaching a family with children, and stopped his car in front of it so it could not get any closer to the kids.  He was given a citation for blocking traffic, but in news reports seemed unfazed.   

Other signs of hope are around.  I drive through neighborhoods with Obama signs in their yards.  My niece is turning 18 in a week, and will be voting.  I'm volunteering to help call voters in swing states, to write op-ed pieces, to do what I can to make a difference.

And on election day, I will drive to the polling place with my daughter, and take our pictures outside.  I will take her with me into the voting booth and have her watch me fill out my ballot and turn it in.  I want her to be there on that historic day, so that one day, God willing, I can tell her "See that picture?  Remember that day?"

And she can tell her children "I went into the booth with my mom when she helped elect Barack Obama president."

Keep up the good fight.  Keep going.  Keep asking people, keep pushing for change.

This is for our families and our children.  This is for all of us.

When not writing on her blog, The Eleventh, Mary works 50-60 hours a week to support a family that includes a daughter adopted from the broken Nebraska foster care system, a husband with a chronic illness and no medical insurance.  She volunteers with a Christian youth retreat organization while maintaining a staunch pro-choice stance; she believes it's okay to listen to Led Zeppelin and contemporary Christian music.  She believes that religion has hijacked Christianity and that the religious right has hijacked the American government.  She also knows she is not alone, and wants everyone else like her to stand up, speak out, and be counted.

Comments

[Natalie]

I live in Arizona and just like Nebraska, McCain is expected to take it and I'm sure he will. However, I see a lot more physical support (bumper stickers, signs) for Obama than I do for McCain and while I have no doubt that he will take our state, I'm sure he'll be surprised to find that he is not as well liked as he thinks he is.

It irritates me that my vote pretty much doesn't count here, but it's not stopping me from voting. It's not stopping me from informing people of correct information when they are reciting something made up by McCain's campaign. I do it quietly, I do it respectfully, but I AM doing it.

[Natalie]

Oh, and I am appalled at how many workplace rules were violated in your conversations with these, what's a nice word for them? Ah, I'll just shut up.

[John J.]

I actually have good news for Mary. Your state, while not a swing state, may still be able to give electors to Obama. Since 1996, Nebraska is one of only two states (Maine being the other one) that distribute their electoral votes by congressional district instead of winner take all. http://www.fairvote.org/e_college/me_ne.htm I first heard about this this week via Ken Rudin on NPR. So get out there and work hard even in your own state. I hope this election won't be decided by one or two electoral votes, but every little bit helps.

[Lawyer Mama]

The Obama campaign is trying to take the Eastern part of the state b/c of the split electoral votes.

Mary, I lived in Nebraska for 10 years, in and around Omaha. I'm curious about what part of the state you live in b/c I don't think I've ever encountered that sort of overt racism anywhere in Nebraska. Neither has my husband who was born and raised in SW Nebraska - the most conservative portion of the state. Even there, my in-laws are voting for Obama.

[Tracy (Tiny Mantras)]

Wow, Mary, thanks for writing this. Here in Ohio, I've experienced/overheard more subtle forms of racism, which I find no less disconcerting than the overt form you've witnessed (sometimes moreso - just because it's put in gentler language doesn't make it more acceptable). I think the fact that you have talked to/questioned/confronted them is important - too many of us are inclined to just run away from that kind of situation.

In my state, rural counties with largely white (and often working class/poor white) populations have been the tipping point that sent the state over to Bush for the last two elections. Fomenting racism and homophobia has been used as a dividing wedge by Republicans in those areas for a really long time (Willie Horton with Bush the first, etc). Its so important to not bury our heads in our urban centers this time, and, as you say, try to understand people, confront, debate, question... hold up a reality mirror to the comfy angry "me too" place Limbaugh, Fox News & Co. inspire.

What you are doing is completely essential to changing things, no matter how futile voting in your location may feel. Thank you.

[GraceD]

"I'm curious about what part of the state you live in b/c I don't think I've ever encountered that sort of overt racism anywhere in Nebraska."

Come on, Lawyer Mama, with all due respect, you may not have encountered this shameful level of bigotry, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Racism and rooting for the "Babe Factor" are very much alive and well in this election. I know this through my family and friends who have been privy to similar remarks. My daughter was actually told by a friend's mother that she would never vote for a black person, never. This took place in our liberal bastion of Santa Cruz, California. And, if this could happen here, it could happen anywhere.

This shit is real. And "shit" is the operative word.

[Wade]

Anyone making racist comments are just ignorant. Of course there are many still out there, but they really are becoming fewer and fewer. So your hearing the jerks opinion of someone other than their race is a rare thing. Its a ridiculous reason to not like Obama, when there are really plenty of other reasons to not vote for him. The man just isn't qualified. He talks a great talk, enough to get people excited and want to believe he will do all the wonderful things he says he plans to do, but seriously folks, how many politicians over the many years have made campaign promises that went to the wayside? I'm voting for a person that is 1-qualified and 2-deserving.
1-Obama might meet the definition of "qualified", but by the bare minimum. A 22yr old University Grad could become the CEO of Microsoft if he were some IT Genius..he would be Qualified...barely. But would he be Deserving? Even if he graduated college and ran his own computer network business for 2 years, would he be Deserving of CEO of such a large company? Over the past year Obama has ran a gambit of stages to get to where he is and has got to be the luckiest man on the planet for being where he is now. Every step of the way there was people more qualified and DEFINATELY More Deserving. YET, he slipped through the cracks and here he stands ONE step away from being Leader of the Free World.....The PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES, and his background is so lacking it is scarey. Still, when he speaks people just get tingly. So many people are picking him for that reason and that reason alone, because they like "what he says", with very little regard to what he has done to Deserve this honor.

Vote for whom you want, its your free right you deserve for living in this Free Country. But KNOW when you go to bed that you are about to let that little kid in the insurance commercial that drives go-carts get behind the wheel of a NASCAR, but Not on a track, to Drive Free Over our country. Is he REALLY READY for It? Does he Deserve It?

[babs]

Wade really needs to read more about his candidate. McCain has supported the kind of deregulation that has caused this mess on wall street. He is saying stupid things like fundamentals and the whole spain thing. Is he senile? He has voted with Bush 90% of the time he proudly told us himself. Keating 5, his wife's drug addiction and the colapse of her charity, loss of medical liscence for the dr who supplied her with drugs. She got off scott free. And his running mate is not qualified. She was being investigated before she was selected and now her husband, she and her staff won't comply with subpoenas. Regular people go to jail for that. Wade sounds like the kind of man who says "I'm not a bigot but..."

[Kate]

Wade.

I pity you.

[Liz]

Mary you are brave and amazing. I sometimes take it for granted that live in NYC where it's safe, if not expected, to wear an Obama shirt or a pro-choice shirt or a W is a big fat fucking idiot shirt.

I really thank the universe that there are people like you fighting the good fight and willing to call racism when you see it. It's easy to walk away. It's hard to take it head on.

Thank you, from all of us.

PS Wade - Obama is no 22 year old recent college grad. He's a Harvard pedigreed attorney and an esteemed constitutional scholar with 12 years of legislative experience including a chairmanship of the Senate Foreign Relations committee on European Affairs and membership in committees overseeing Health, education, labor and pensions; homeland security; and veterans affairs.

I don't find that "scarey" in the least.

[Alysa]

Wade, this is not about what Obama or McCain deserve. It's what WE deserve. Do we deserve another term or two of the same tired policies of the last 8 horrendous years or do we deserve a chance at something different, something better? The whole campaign process is like one big job interview where we have to examine, as prospective employers who will do the best job representing you and your fellow citizens.

[Mary]

LawyerMama, I live in Lincoln.
The point I was making is this: there are a lot of people with racist bias who may not even THINK they have such bias. I was approaching people without letting on how I feel to see how they spoke when they were unguarded. I have heard a lot of overt racism, mostly among folks of my parents' generation (60+) and yes, among those younger. Some in my own family. I am certainly not saying Nebraskans can all be painted with the same broad brush, but I am saying that even people who say they are not racist can have a bias they don't talk about when they think it might make them look bad.

And now, the Republicans are trying to change Nebraska back to a "winner take all" electoral situation, where right now, Nebraska splits its electoral votes. Why aren't the rest of the states splitting electoral votes based on district numbers? So even in the more accepting and progressive districts of our state, our voices will be drowned out by the rabid Republican majority in one or more other districts. It's obscene.

[Lawyer Mama]

Mary - I'm not saying that it doesn't exist just b/c I've never experienced it. I'm sure it was completely unintentional, but the juxtaposition of these lines below, does indeed make it seem as if Nebraska will vote Republican because of all the racists:

"It's good enough for me," he said, unfolding his newspaper.

"Jeez, you guys, that's just sickening."

Our state, to nobody's surprise, is expected to go to the Republicans.....

Look, I'm usually the last person to find myself defending Nebraska. My husband and I left b/c it was too damn conservative for us and we wanted to raise our children in a more diverse area. But I, my husband, and many of our relatives felt like they'd been kicked in the stomach when they read this post. In fact, the positive message at the end about change was actually lost on me until I'd read the post several times. I couldn't get past the portion I quoted above.

Again, I'm sure it was completely unintentional. I'm sure you know that not all Republicans are racist, whether subtly or overtly. Hell, I live in the South. I know damn well racism is alive and well in this country. There's actually a great op ed in the NY Times today about this. http://tinyurl.com/3nekc9

I just wish your post had been worded a little differently.

[Wendy]

Thanks for sharing this. What's important here is not the ugliness but the HOPE and ACTION you are embodying! Thank you for that.

Wendy in Oregon
who finds much to relate to in your bio :)

[Gunfighter]

"I like him a lot. But I could never vote for a black. I just couldn't."

"I'd vote for anybody over that goddamn ni**er,"

What surprises me about this is that anyone can still be surpised that these things are actually said. Compound these idiots with the other idiots who would never say these words to anyone, let alone themselves, and will go into the voting booth and vote for McCain becuase of their white supremacist views.

[Tawnya]

Like you, I plan on taking all 3 children with me, though only the oldest will likely remember it. But, I've been doing this since they have been on the planet. I explain in age appropriate terms why I vote the way I do, what the issues are and why it is important to learn about everything for yourself. My son is a BIG Obama fan.

I know there are racist people everywhere, BUT, I can't help but think about Iowa, a white, WHITE state. That win showed the nation that people really can be counted on to vote their conscience. For me, it's not about race. But, I'm one of those idealistic voters that votes based on issues, thought out and researched, not personality or charisma - though, IMO, Obama carries those pretty good too.