Happy National Coming Out Day! (Vote No on Prop 8)

Today is National Coming Out Day, an ongoing annual celebration of the freedom of lesbian, bisexual, gay, and transgender people everywhere to live and love openly, with safety, understanding, and acceptance from the society they live in. And if they're unable to do so, then to work to make it so.

It's a day to acknowledge how cramped, lonely, and uncomfortable the closet is. How terrified, confused, or even despairing a person might be inside it. And how the walls and door may be made of glass, providing nothing of the shelter one imagines it to give.

I'm a straight person who believes in marriage equality. (That's why I'm voting No on Prop 8 here in California. So far as I'm concerned, the state Constitution of California does NOT need to be changed to specifically discriminate against LBGT people to make them second-class citizens. Our state Constitution is just fine without a homophobic amendment, thank you.) I believe two people of the same gender who wish to get married should absolutely do so, and enjoy all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities thereunder.

I believe the proper response to someone telling you of their sexual orientation is a warm hug, and a heartfelt "Congratulations!" if they decide to marry. I believe people are happiest when they are allowed to be their most authentic selves (straight or gay).

I believe that who others choose to love, and make love to, diminishes me not in the least. In fact, it has nothing to do with me, because that person's life isn't mine to lead. I lose nothing if you marry; in fact, I gain fellow humans who are wholly and fully woven into their families and communities and who are also on the same journey I am: simply trying to be a better daughter, or parent, or spouse, friend, neighbor, citizen.

And I believe that shame, fear, self-hatred, the scapegoating of, and violence against LBGT people is abhorrent, and we should work to eliminate the conditions that create those emotions and actions. I'll vote down anti-gay propositions. I'll ruffle my family's feathers insisting they do the same, or at the very least abstain from making a homophobic vote. I'll teach my child that families come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and configurations.

I am out of the closet in saying there are awful reasons people need a closet. If you agree with me, please vote No on Proposition 8 if you live in California or vote to defeat any of the other anti-marriage equality measures out there in Arizona and Florida this year.

If you've come out today, I toast you with a glass of champagne, sweetie darling. If you are unable to come out, please know that there are strangers out there who believe you are absolutely deserving of love and acceptance, as you are, for who you are. And I will be there with a couple flutes of champagne to celebrate the day when it's safe--no, practically boring, expected, and uneventful!--for you to come out. Won't that be progress?

Cynematic writes at her poor, neglected personal blog, P i l l o w b o o k. She recognizes this day is about you, but used a lot of first person pronoun because she doesn't want to presume to speak for all MOMocrats on this issue. Now she's talking about herself in third person, how weird is that?

Comments

[Mrs. B]

I am also a straight person who believes in gay marriage. I live in California, and I'll be voting an emphatic NO on 8. It's simply a matter of equal rights. People should have them. End of discussion. I'm sickened by proponents of Prop 8.

[cynematic]

Mrs. B? You ROCK. The end.

[Kate]

Thank you for this post. I live in California, and I am worried that this hateful amendment will pass. I am a staunch No on Prop 8 voter. I do not believe that my "traditional" marriage is threatened in any way by same-sex marriage. And I will fight has hard as I can to make sure that my little brother and his husband get to remain recognized as "married" by the state of California. Although, I believe that the Yes on 8 creeps will succeed this time. They have a ton of money, a mob of out of state religious zealots phoning Californians, and are fired up by sanctimony, fear and bigotry. We need money here in California to defeat them, and anyone in any state can donate to the No on Prop 8/Equality for All campaign. If gay people can be stripped of a constitutional right, who's to say what group of people will come under attack next? If some right-wing zealots decide to sponsor an amendment to take away women's right to vote, or African Americans' right to vote??? That's what No on Prop 8 is all about -- protecting a constitutional right.

[cynematic]

Kate, excellent points, especially that you need not live in the states affected in order to donate. You also ROCK. Big time.

Here's where you can donate online to defeat anti- marriage equality measures in Arizona: Vote No on Prop 102 (http://www.votenoprop102.com/web/index.php).

And to donate online to defeat the anti-marriage equality proposition in Florida: Vote No on Amendment 2 (http://www.votenoon2.com/)

And finally, California: contribute here on No on Prop 8 (https://secure.ga4.org/01/equalityforall)

[Jen]

Thank you for this post. I am a mom of two, and a lesbian, living in CA with my new wife and partner of eleven years. We live in the so-called "Bible belt" of CA, and it's not a nice place for us or our friends and families right now. I do wish that there was more about Prop 8 on this site though, there are a lot of us momocrats out here who could use the entertainment.