Stardate: November 4, 2008.
Race, the Final Frontier.
These are the voyages of the United State of America
Her Mission: To explore strange new worlds.
To seek out new leaders: Diverse in race, ethnicity and gender.
To boldly go, where America has not gone before...
Last night was a monumental shift in America. For some of us this was a triumph over a hidden shame. That of the failure to act.
There is racism. There is prejudice. And then there is that "other thing." To me, they are all based in fear. Racism comes from so much fear that people actually believe they hate someone...just because he is of another race. Prejudice is fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar. And that other thing? The failure to act. Not speaking out. Cowardice.
The election of Barack Obama as the first African-American President of America has helped some of us vanquish our cowardice. The cowardice that kept us from saying something, anything, to those preaching racism, bigotry and prejudice in our midst.
I've spent the last nine months talking to my therapist about Barack Obama, the election, and how much I hate racists and neoconservatives. She sometimes says she doesn't think she should charge me to talk to me about politics. But it's something I really care about, so it's okay. I've been trying to figure out why Obama's speeches make me cry--not the "being moved to tears because they are so inspiring" kind of crying. It didn't feel like that. If felt deeper, unpleasant. It hurt. There is a theory that the thing we cannot tolerate is the thing we cannot abide in ourselves.
Last night I think I figured it out.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in West Virginia. I vascillated between not giving a damn and bucking the peer pressure, and worrying about whether people would like me if I didn't go along. During those years the state population was about 96% white. I wasn't raised in a racist home, even though my maternal grandmother was from "the Deep South." But in our town, the schools were segregated. There was an unwritten code. You knew, as a white woman, if you danced with a black guy at a night club, no white guy would ask you to dance. Even our CHURCH locked the front doors during the day, because some "black man" had wandered in one day. Much of the state has changed. But a former classmate's comment on her facebook that today she was "in shock" tells me there are still undercurrents of racism in the town of my birth.
And even though I wasn't "racist," historically I never stood up against racism. I was guilty of "that other thing."
I moved to Houston after college. On the short end of self-confidence, I cared more about having friends than speaking out. Don't get me wrong. I could speak out about "safe" topics. Among my friends that meant a woman's rights to privacy over her reproductive system. In my circle of friends, racist jokes were commonplace. While I didn't initiate them, and didn't repeat them, and did not appreciate them: I didn't say anything to my friends who told them. I had two sets of friends. My African American and progressive friends, and those who fell somewhere along the specturm of bigot, cracker, homey and whitey. And for the most part, they didn't mix. I kept them separate; pretending that if grouped together, they would somehow get along. Knowing full well, this was a fairytale.
It wasn't just the racist jokes. But the promulgation of stereotypes in basic conversation. The worst point was Thanksgiving at a friend's house in 1999. I had taken my new boyfriend from 'up North'. I was mortified when the afternoon got progressively worse. As my friend's family and friends consumed more and more wine, their statements grew more and more racist. Rather than saying anything, we just left annoyed.
I knew it was wrong. But I also felt powerless to do anything about it. The real enlightenment came in law school in Toledo, Ohio, where the population is very diverse. One in four children is bi-racial. I took a Civil Rights class in my third year, taught by the adjunct attorney Patricia Wise. On the first day, self-seating was segregated. On one wing of the "U" shaped seating were me, another woman, and all of the African Americans in the class. The other win of the U were the moderates. And in the middle, were the bigots. The class was structured to encourage discussion and debate. And in reponse to some of the most ignorant biggoted racist comments coming from LAW students, I began to find my spine.
In part this was due to the way Professor Wise taught the class through films and readings. We watched films documenting current practices of housing discrimination. And historical films about the Civil Rights movement. That's when my shell of blindness to my complicity began to crack, and the light, or pain started to get in. Whether I had conveniently forgotten or missed the news, I didn't know how bad it had been.
I remember watching incredulously as law enforcement personnel turned firehoses onto children, and beat adults. Beat them! Because people wanted to vote. Because they wanted to peacefully march across a bridge to protest discrimination. I remember calling my mother, and saying, "I didn't know! How could they have done this to human beings? How could people be so vile, so ugly, so hateful, so truly hideous; that they would block children from going to school, so that the Federal government would have to provide as escort, while parents of white children stood buy shouting the ugliest of comments." That's when the painful tears began.
Once I moved back to Houston, it just wasn't the same being around my friends. It made me uncomfortable to be around them. And it only got harder when I started working on the Obama campaign. Somewhere in the middle, I just couldn't talk to them anymore. Especially not until after the election. Watching Sarah Palin stir the pot of hatred and bigotry to frothing followers who shouted "kill him" I couldn't abide anyone who supported the McCain-Palin ticket.
The final straw was when I got a "facebook" notification that a friend had joined the group, "1 million strong for Sarah Palin." This wasn't some hillbilly redneck friend from my hometown in Appalachia. This was a highly educated professional woman. A feminist I'd met working on Roe v. Wade support projects. It was like a betrayal. Because I knew in my heart, that she didn't support McCain-Palin because she agreed with their policies. It was because she couldn't support "the black man."
And it wasn't even so much about my friend. But what it said to me, about me. About me, the coward. Me, the person who had spent hours campaigning for, donating to, and volunteering for Barack Obama. The same person who spent 15 years feining amusement at racists jokes and racist comments. The person who never opened her mouth and said "Enough!"
During this election season as it got closer and closer to November, I couldn't get through an Obama speech without the painful tears. Even commericials hurt. Watching the GOP convention and Sarah Palin stoking fear and bigotry was simply unbearable.
For so many of us, I think that's what this campaign was about. Yes, we were inspired by Barack Obama. He gave those of us idealists who had all but given up the small flicker of hope that we could right our wrongs, and in the process change the world. That collectively we could combine our voices, locked arm-in-arm with the youth and diversity of this nation who weren't carrying the secret guilt. Together we could set about vanquishing the hatred, the bigotry and the downright stupidity of the notion that thought, for some asinine reason, that only White Men could be President.
In concert with over 200,000 people last night, I realized why, when the race was called, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Because I, too, was Free at Last. But for me it was the freedom from my own cowardice. Freedom to speak out against the hatred and bigotry that has kept this nation divided. Freedom to stand together with my fellow children of God, and say, "Yes We Can."
Your post brought tears to my eyes....I know exactly what you're talking about. I grew up in rural Florida...then spent my teen and college years in small Appalachian Mountain towns. Now I live in rural Georgia. I've seen and heard it all, just like you. And for oh so many years I also kept my mouth shut, thinking my silence was enough to show that I didn't agree or approve. But it wasn't. I wish I had been strong enough to stand up and speak my mind all those years....but I wasn't. I am now. In a state that voted Republican in droves, I WILL speak up now. So many of my neighbors are still screaming about Obama, but I WILL stand up this time. Our country proved that my neighbors and their Republican rhetoric are NOT the majority.
Posted by: Tiffany | November 06, 2008 at 06:04 AM
Thanks Tiffany. I think naming it and calling it for what it was, helped to set me free.
Posted by: Amy (aka WineWonkette) | November 06, 2008 at 06:07 AM
Thank you for writing this post - you have brought tears to my eyes (again -- they have been fairly moist since Tuesday, as people recount their feelings about our new President-elect and our country's new beginning). Racism is complicated and it's been part of us for so long; it is not going to magically disappear. But we're moving in the right direction, and the election of Barack Obama is a huge leap -- not because he is African-American, but because he has the intelligence, temperament and abilities to lead us at this difficult juncture -- and he just happens to be African-American.
Posted by: Donna | November 06, 2008 at 07:31 AM
The history has only started, lets hope the red states dont desire to return to pre 1960s
http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com/2008/11/red-rum.html
Posted by: All Mi T | November 06, 2008 at 07:37 AM
WineWonkette, that was a startlingly brave and honest post. I'm grateful to you for all your hours of work on the Obama campaign; one of the most brilliant (and wise) things about our President-elect is the way he offers tangible, practical steps toward an ideal. That is, in the thousand and one minutiae of phonebanking, canvassing, leafleting, or other campaign work done together in a multi-racial setting, we stumble our way to transcendence. We don't simply reach for "feel-good", pasted-on afternoon diversity workshop togetherness, but instead sweat for sisterhood over the course of weeks and months working side by side in the name of the larger goal of electing Obama. The means itself becomes the end.
In your case, as a "surrogate" for Obama, you faced down and confronted the very attitudes you'd previously been able to ignore. I've often thought what an eye-opening experience it has been/is for white supporters of Obama to make a case for their candidate to friends, neighbors, and relatives, and touch the bedrock racism that exists there. It's a way to experience the "double consciousness" people of color grow up with and breathe in from birth in this country. By "double consciousness," I mean W.E.B. DuBois' concept of looking through white majority eyes at the same time as you view the world from the perspective of a person of color. It isn't pretty. But it's a reality.
One of the hardest things for me during this election has been being reminded of the racism toward black poeple (and homophobia) of my fellow Asian/Chinese Americans. It is every bit as uncomfortable and painful as what you speak about with your therapist regarding racism and neoconservatism (of white people). And every bit as devastating as the racism of white women, women who you'd think would otherwise be feminists.
But this is what gives me such hope and joy: about 64 million of us *could* see fit to electing the best possible candidate (who happens to be black) as our president. I'm delighted by the opportunity to take this as a starting point. We have so much further to go, but look how far we've come. Together.
Posted by: cynematic | November 06, 2008 at 09:55 AM
Thank you for this article. The Mother learns from the daughter. . . I shed many tears Tuesday night. I thought they were solely about the thrill that at last we were going to be the real U n i t e d States of America. To me Barack Obama epitomizes all of the idealism I so long to see in my country and in me. Your article made me realize that is only part of it...the tears are like a baptism washing away the years of shame, not only of my country but of my own cowardness. Of course, like any conversion or baptism, it is only the beginning. It has to be a process of continuous growth. Thank you for reminding us of where we've been and where we must go. Your dad, a former history teacher and lifelong educator never missed the opportunity to vote. It meant so much to him that the last time he cast his vote, too sick to enter the polls,he had me drive him to the polls and a pollster brought a voting machine out to the car. He delayed his pain medication so he could think clearly that day. By example, he taught us well. He would be so very proud of you.
Posted by: Marietta Corron, your mother | November 06, 2008 at 09:26 PM
"This wasn't some hillbilly redneck friend from my hometown in Appalachia. "
Speaking as a "hillbilly redneck" from Appalachia and someone who has traveled the world herself, I'm speaking out against the fallacious and bigoted sweeping assumption that hillybilly rednecks from Appalachia are any more racist than the next person.
The wholesale damning of entire swaths of people - be they white, black, gay, women - is just as wrong no matter who puts that hatred forward. And I'm taking back that night.
There is no surprise to me that educated people can be hateful. It's no further surprise that they can come from either party. I've received a good share of "Go Obama" emails from people who also openly make fun of faggots and dykes. It's a long haul. California has proven that where 70% of blacks and 1 million Democrats voted to ban same sex marriage. We have enough work within our own party to keep picking on Republicans and the easily lampooned hillbillys.
Posted by: Jozet | November 07, 2008 at 05:14 AM
This was not a "wholesale damning of entire swaths of people."
When I use the term "hillbilly redneck" I don't use it as a sterotype. I am using it literally to describe those who live in the hills and hollows, lack education and have little or no access to outside information. I tend to give more of a pass to those who won't vote for the "other" because they've had no way to overcome the fear of that "other."
Having spent the first half of my life in Appalachia, I never considered myself a member of the group because I had access to education and sought out information. You've described yourself as having travelled the world. You're using the internet to respond, so you obviously don't fall into the group of "hillbilly rednecks" either.
What I discovered in looking at my discomfort with racism was that I had played a part in allowing a "pass" to those who should "know better." Just as in Appalachia, Texas and the rest of the country, these are people who are "willfully ignorant" and "willfully racist."
These people have access to information; have a vast education; have acquaintances and colleagues of other races; and have travelled the world. Yet, they choose to hang onto racism or prejudice. Theirs is small-minded hatred simply for the sake of hatred.
Looking at it now, I do not believe they deserve a pass in any name, shape or form. And in giving these folks a "pass" I realized that I had been complicit in their bad behavior.
Additionally, I would disagree that we are "picking on Republicans."
Republicans have allowed their party to be highjacked by a loud minority who call themselves "Christian conservatives" but are neither conservative nor exhibit an understanding of the teachings of Christ. In selecting the apparently small-minded, race-baiting, willfully ignorant Sarah Palin for the ticket, Republicans refused to reclaim the true mantle of their party, but again bowed to this hateful subset as "their base." For this they deserve to reap what they have sown.
Posted by: WineWonkette | November 07, 2008 at 07:27 AM
Congratulations to Barack Obama on winning the Presidency of the United States of America!
WineWonkette, your comment is beautiful and right on target.
Posted by: Obama Fan | November 07, 2008 at 10:43 AM
Winewonkette..
could you post your missive on a national newspaper organization.. it could be read by many and it could help us and others take a peak and lift the cover off the facade presented when we are not in like company..
you described some degrees of hate ~
but the specific hate, a cancer, towards another human based on illogical reason, festers in some souls; because of cowardice or laziness, et al., this cancer stays in remission when ignoring the consequences of letting it grow unfettered..when this destructive moral-less pervasion is exacerbated, it's victims are not just the intended..
i grew up in a very strict religious home ~ i wasn't remotely aware there was this kind of permitted hate in the country because we were taught from the bible writings and common sense to respect others..when i finally heard or saw this ugliness, it simply didn't register because it was so anathema to my guided upbringing..when i first heard of others actually hating another because of being from a different religion or another nationality..it scared the heck, and later on, the church right out of me..imagine this hate coming from my relative's church group..huh..?!..all this junk coming after they left the church parking lot..when i read of the teachings of the Christ, i felt Jesus might probably walk right by these hypocritical houses of worship..anyway, it is difficult to let go of what you know or of what comforts because of fear of what will take its place..it may take more time then we'd like, but fear can be replaced by knowledge and knowledge can be just as or more comforting..that's what Jesus did..i thank you WineWonkette for your contribution..i appreciate your defense of the term "hill-billy redneck"..seems every single 'negative' truth has to be marginalized because one takes offense..if one is not the negative [term] then realize a truth is a truth, no matter how it good/ugly..hope you consider having it published
Posted by: jaYne | November 13, 2008 at 10:52 PM
jaYne: Thank you so much for your comment.
I also understand "leaving the church." I barely recognize the United Methodist Church today. While it is no longer is the "locking the door" to keep out other races, the church is now directing its hatred toward the LGBT community.
We, too, left our church. Even though we had an awesome Adult Sunday school class called "Open Door" that welcomed all of God's children, the church leadership did its best to close the door to the Sanctuary to some.
Our denomination made national news when the highest court in the United Methodist Church defrocked a lesbian minister in Philadelphia and reinstated a Virginia pastor who had been suspended for denying a gay man membership in his congregation. We thought this had not spread to our local United Methodist Church especially given the church’s stated mission; a phrase we repeated at the end of every service:
"[Name of the Church] is a community of Christian believers
Committed to loving as Jesus loved,
Welcoming seekers of the faith, and
Reaching out with caring hearts and hands to ALL who are in need."
Our doubts started when the youth program handed out DVD marketing materials for the "Left Behind" Video game during Youth Service. In this game "soldiers" on the streets of a big city kill anyone that they cannot "bring to Jesus." We complained and our comments were largely ignored.
Next, our "Open Door" class sponsored a “Friends and Family of LGBT” educational series. A Sunday morning program featuring Troy Plummer, Executive Director of Reconciling Ministries Network of United Methodists, was moved from an open forum and forced behind closed doors so as to "not offend" the Church's major donors during a capital construction campaign.
The final straw was when our youngest brought home a "Teen Study Bible" for confirmation classes. These “bibles” published by Zondervan, were not standard United Methodist curriculum. In them, the editors had added to and re-written parts of the Bible. "Study" questions implied that AIDS was a just punishment from God. And other “study” passages compared homosexuality to bestiality. Little surprise that Zondervan is owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation which also employs the likes of Sean Hannity on Fox News. When we complained about the Bibles our pastor told us that an unidentified ‘rogue’ had ordered the Bibles, and that "it would not be good stewardship of the Church's money" to purchase new Bibles.
My husband and I decided it would not be good stewardship of God's money to continue to support a church teaching both its youth and adults bigotry and hate.
Of all the organizations that could help right the wrongs of society, the Church should be in the lead to promote knowledge and acceptance. When the Church uses its pulpit to promote fear and hatred of the “other” it has failed to learn the lessons of Christ in 1 Corinthians 13:11-13:
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
Posted by: WineWonkette | November 14, 2008 at 07:58 AM
WineWonkette
~Amen~
ahh..the days of our youths when in innocence we were so much closer to God
and you're welcome : )
you made my day
Posted by: jaYne | November 14, 2008 at 10:34 AM