Every now and again I like to check up on the activities of my local chapter of proud Gadsden flag wavers, the St. Louis Tea Party. I haven't seen them out protesting in their usual spot in front of my neighborhood Target in a fair while (I suppose Target is no longer an ideal Tea Party protest location in the wake of the whole Citizens United contribution debacle. Heavens forfend the Tea Party be mistaken as gay rights supporters) and I was starting to miss their cheerful yellow rattlesnake flags, and their signs about taking back their country from Nazi communists. So I thought I should see what my patriotic neighbors have been up to.
It turns out that members of the St. Louis Tea Party have recently published a Tea Party Coloring Book for children! A tip from a Very Famous Conservative Blogger led me to the site ColoringBook.com, where I found the following description on the site's home page:
The newest, latest and the greatest on Tea Party info for kids that's collosal fun and informative! This book is a "must have" for children and parents to learn more about The Tea Party. A very pleasant song, coloring and activity book!
I was pretty sure the publishers meant "colossal" fun. I'd like to snark, but as my readers know, I'm certainly not immune to typos, And anyway, like any overprotective liberal parent, I'm a sucker for scare quotes that tell me my child "must have" something. So I clicked through to the full product description.
And that's when I realized: these aren't just typos. The Tea Party wants to restore so much more than our Founders' vision for America -- they also apparently want to evoke simpler colonial times by restoring the nonstandard spelling and capitalization so prevalent at the time of our nation's dawn:
A wonderful book of The Tea Party for Kids! Teaches kids all about the origins of the Tea Party and what it all involves. A very pleasant song, coloring and activity book on Liberty, Faith, Freedom and so much more! Get involved, participate, self reliance, freedom of choice, work, government-of-for-by the people, Leadership, Ingenuity, Jobs and responsibilty!
Okay, okay. Nonstandard, erm, English on the coloring book website aside, I was genuinely curious about what might be inside a Tea Party Coloring Book for kids. Would it focus on American history? Outline conservative political principles? Haigiographize Sarah Palin? Was this coloring book mere political propaganda, or the sort of nonpartisan educational tome I could actually stomach buying for my own child (to better explain the people outside of Target)? So I zoomed in on the product photos for a closer look:
As you can see, as proper, entrepreneurial fiscal conservatives, the Tea Party Coloring Book children have set up a lemonade stand on the White House lawn! Where, ah, money apparently grows on trees? And piggy banks are ALIVE! Also, when not earning money, saving money, spending money, or counting money, the children on the cover of the Tea Party Coloring Book think about money! Which you can see in their thought balloons. About money.
How . . . patriotic?
Also, apparently, in pleasantly multicultural Tea Party Coloring Book land, white children own lemonade stands and White House lawn mowing businesses, and hold valuable property (maybe Pokemon cards?) for sale; children of other Crayola hues buy things, consume things, and hide their miraculous money-tree money in shoeboxes.
As for the messages inside the cover, I was only able to decipher one page of text from the online photos of the Tea Party Coloring Book. It reads:
Government for the people, by the people of the people.
The purpose of the American Government is serve and protect the American people and to also work with other governments from around the world.
The entire government is paid for by the American worker from taxes taken away from our checks. Businesses also pay taxes to the government.
By paying our taxes and supporting our government, it is required to protect our liberties and freedom, administer justice and assure safety to our society. The government has the power to keep us free from tyranny and free from those that would hurt America. The government is made up of decisions made by people. The purpose of the government is to serve its people. When the government does not do its job properly we may have a Tea Party and fire or replace the people that run the government.
Okay: as a college-educated liberal elitist writer, this is difficult for me to say, but -- ignore the grammar. Ignore the logical inconsistencies. Ignore the misquoting and mispunctuating of Abraham Lincoln. Seriously.
Just focus on that last sentence, please: "When the government does not do its job properly we may have a Tea Party and fire or replace the people that run the government."
In this constitutional democracy, when we are displeased with our government officials, how do we, traditionally, legally, remedy that situation?
We vote.
We exercise the fundamental right constitutionally granted to citizens of this nation to steer its course, and we vote. We vote against politicians we disagree with. We vote for leaders who share our values and views. And in the end, the majority of voters decide the who works in our government. Of the people, by the people, for the people.
Assuming this page is not just a draft or a web mockup and is actually, factually in this book aimed at children, what, exactly, does the Tea Party Coloring Book mean when it tells children that not an election but instead a "Tea Party" should be held to "fire or replace" our democratically elected officials when they don't do what conservatives want?
Truly, I'm not sure I want to know.
I never knew that the tea baggers were for freedom of choice,since they are against a persons right to chose who they marry and a woman's freedom to make decisions regarding her reproductive health and everyone else's right to chose whether or not to believe in some imaginary sky daddy.I can only conclude they mean we are free to chose only things they approve of and would chose.My way or the highway,Reich wingers do not want to govern,they want to rule.
Posted by: insaneredneck | September 09, 2010 at 02:50 AM
**constitutional democracy**???
Ummm...NO. Constitutional REPUBLIC, Ma'am.
Posted by: Deb V | September 09, 2010 at 08:07 AM
Deb, respectfully: check a dictionary. This is how Dictionary.com defines a constitutional democracy:
Definition: a system of government based on popular sovereignty in which the structures, powers, and limits of government are set forth in a constitution
Usage: politics
Of course, if dictionaries are not your style, you could visit any one of the following reference websites:
http://www.answers.com/topic/constitutional-democracy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_democracy
http://www.reference.com/browse/constitutional+democracy
That the U.S. is ALSO a republic, I would not dispute. However, a republic is considered a type of democracy, despite what certain conservative politicians and bloggers (who are really upset that the Democrats grabbed a party name so directly associated with democracy) might say to the contrary.
Posted by: Jaelithe | September 09, 2010 at 08:37 AM
The Tea Party Coloring Book does note belong to the St. Louis Tea Party or any Tea Party.
The book belongs to a publishing company called "Really Big Coloring Books" and they make books for all of America!
Here is another wonderful book they published in the fall of 2008. Maybe you will like it as much and it is located next the the Tea Party Book.
http://www.coloringbook.com/presidentobamaaninauguralcoloringbook.aspx
Thank you and have a very nice liberal day.
Posted by: Wayne Bell | September 09, 2010 at 12:34 PM
Dear Jaelithe,
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,
and to the REPUBLIC for which it stands, one nation, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
I surely do not know where your allegiance is, but is it to the system or to the Nation?
Constitutional republic
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitutional_republic
Constitutional Republic
http://www.conservapedia.com/Constitutional_Republic
http://www.usconstitution.net/glossary.html
Republic
republic n 1 : a government having a chief of state who is not a monarch and is usually a president; also : a nation or other political unit having such a government 2 : a government in which supreme power is held by the citizens entitled to vote and is exercised by elected officers and representatives governing according to law; also : a nation or other political unit having such a form of government Source: NMW
In the context of the United States, both definitions apply.
Posted by: Max-1 | September 10, 2010 at 10:18 PM
Uh, Max aka Spencer: please reread my comment. We do not disagree on the definition of a republic. I said that the U.S. is both a republic AND a democracy because a republic is a kind of democracy.
This is why what we actually need are coloring books that teach children reading comprehension and critical thinking skills. Sigh.
Wayne, it was gentlemanly of you to stop by. Are you saying that the St. Louis Tea Party had no input in designing this book? Or are you saying that Tea Party members designed it and you published it for them just as you would publish any political coloring book? Could you clarify?
Posted by: Jaelithe | September 10, 2010 at 10:54 PM
I am all for engaging children in the ins and outs of civics in a way that is age appropriate. However, regardless what side your politics fall, the facts must be true. I am also a stickler for grammar, punctuation, and word choice.
Posted by: ilinap | September 13, 2010 at 10:13 AM
Poor Lincoln. His glorious words did not need to be mangled in that way.
Posted by: magpie | September 13, 2010 at 10:34 AM
Hey insaneredneck, it was one of Obama's minions who said, "Obama is ready to rule" just after he was elected?...yep! Funny how you liberals have a way of changing history to suit your stranglehold on power.
Posted by: Reaganite | September 18, 2010 at 06:55 AM
I would suggest to anyone that is actually interested in this coloring book to actually look at the contents. Unlike the briliant first-commenter referring to 'tea-baggers' the book actually has pictures like the American flag, and signers of the Constitution, and the presidential seal to color in. It even shows you how to write your congressman, without even putting out a political message. But as soon as someone sees 'tea party' they start to foam at the mouth. These same mouth-foamers have no clue what the tea party is even about... the decreasing of government control over every aspect of their lives. Funny you should mention a lack of 'choices' while you simultaneously promote the expansion of government. You would think pro-choicers would Like things the tea party stands for.
Posted by: Henry | September 22, 2010 at 02:19 PM